The Void
by MoonStoneFairy89
Summary: POV of a cursed Eric during the events of DttW/Book 4. Obvious spoilers for the book. Final chapter is up & titled "Vicissitude". Thanks for keeping up!
1. The Endless Road

_**So this was definitely a bit harder to write than it was to think of but it was fun either way. This really isn't my style of writing and I still feel a bit out of the loop with writing fanfiction again so blah… Also, I didn't want to write an Eric/Sookie fic just yet since there seems to be so many here that are FAR better compared to what I currently have but I decided to take the plunge before the idea left me. Enjoy!**_

**_Everything here, absolutely everything, is property of Charlaine Harris btw... everything._**

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The lonely road is endless and drags on….

Why am I even running? And to where I am heading?

With each frantic step I take on the cold ground, my feet are stung by countless branches and rocks and still I run. It's overwhelming, this feeling of purpose. The pull of the night is strong and there is the lingering sensation that my destination is soon to be revealed… but when?

A voice calls out but I must keep running or the void will swallow me whole. Still, a glance is enough to tell me that it is a blonde woman heading in the same direction in this cold dark night.

"Eric!" her voice calls out, "It's me!" The confidence that she knows me is in her voice and I am forced to face her though I am ready to attack if need be.

Her face pales and her body tenses when she sees me turn toward her. Even then, she is not as afraid as she should be and the same pull that begged me to run now begs me to stay. I should be wary of her; she may simply have a connection and be at fault for this madness that has me lost in the dark of the night. Still, I do not want to hurt her.

"Stay back, woman," I warn her in her language though I have no knowledge as to how I came to learn it. She blinks at my answer and locks her blue eyes with mine.

"What are you doing out here?"

The woman is either very brave or very foolish since there is nothing that could stop me from attacking her though I have no intention to.

"Who are you?" I ask.

"You known darn good and well who I am. What's up with you? Why are you out here without your car?"

She appears to be more annoyed than afraid and it's her reaction since the moment she stepped out of the strange mechanism she calls a car that has kept me from attacking her. Our paths have crossed for a reason, of this I am sure.

"You know me? Who am I?"

"Of course I know you, Eric. Unless you have an identical twin. You don't, right?"

"I don't know." I strain to recall her voice but there is only an echo of a memory and I chase after it until I can no longer think of anything else.

"You don't know if you have a brother?" Nothing… There is only the knowledge of what I am and though I do not intend to hurt her, her blood calls to me. .

"No. I don't know. Eric is my name?" On some recess of my mind, the name rings true and there is no doubt that she holds knowledge about me. The knowledge she brings me is almost as sacred to me as the blood which I must take to survive. I need more if only to soothe my mind which aches more than the soles of my feet or the hunger that tempts me to drain her dry. No, if I must drain her, it shall only be for her knowledge of me and nothing else…

"Wow." Her face softens and a look close to pity crossed her beautiful features. Who is this woman that stands before a vampire when nothing or no one would hear her screams in the empty woods? "Eric Northman is the name you go by these days. Why are you out here?"

It is the same question I have been asking myself like a litany since I found myself on the road.

"I don't know that, either."

"For real? You don't remember anything?"

Her wording is strange and I can almost see the look of sheer pity that she struggles to hide back from me.

"For real." I take a step closer to her thinking that perhaps I should end this distraction and keep on running down the road, even if the need to do no longer calls to me. Standing so close to her, the smell of her blood intoxicates me and I have the urge to warm my skin with hers.

"You know you're a vampire, right?" she asks worriedly and looks at the now shorter distance between us. Her uneasiness washes over me and though I have no memory of it, I am sure that I have tasted her before.

"Yes." Of the many things I was uncertain about, the knowledge that I was a vampire was the only one I was sure of. Anything else was simply lost. "And you are not."

"No, I'm real human, and I have to know you won't hurt me. Though you could have by now. But believe me, even if you don't remember it, we're sort of friends."

Friends? With a human? But she is _not_ just a human; it is easy to sense that there is something else, a sense of otherness about her, though hard to place. Once again I feel her uncertainty and can see the blush that creeps up her face as she tries to keep her gaze on anything besides my naked chest.

"I won't hurt you." I say this aloud though I am also mentally promising myself that I won't bring her harm, not while I am with her.

"Come get in my car before you freeze," My words seem to reassure her and she motions for me to get into the car though I hold back.

"I do know you?" The pull to get in that car is almost as strong as the pull I had to run and I must make sure that she is not tricking me. It's foolish to think so; I can sense no deceit in her.

"Yes, now come on, Eric. I'm freezing, and so are you." Her impatience is amusing and her familiarity with me reassures me that she is my best option if I want to find out what happened to me.

"Oh my God, Eric, you're barefoot." She takes my hand and leads me to enter the right side of the car. Her concern for me is reassuring that I have made the right decision in choosing to follow her.

I see her reach back to one of the seats behind her and see her pull out a blanket and I let her wrap it around me. The actions seems to bring her more comfort than they do me but her closeness is soothing. There really is no need for it, the cold merely makes my skin tingle but I let her simply because I enjoy her being so close to me. The hunger is not as strong as it could be and it is clear I have fed earlier though I do not remember. I simply want to taste her, just to see if her blood will create a spark of knowledge in me that will wake me from this curse.

We move forward into the night, though this time I am no longer running. The sensation that I _should be _heading anywhere is gone. The soft hum of her heartbeat is comforting to me and I feel myself beginning to trust this foolish woman that so willingly offered to help me off that road. The car rumbles against the harsh wind of the evening as it pushes forward into the empty road, though this time I am not alone.

We drive off into the night together.

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**_I may continue this but I make no promises so take this as a one-shot for now. _**


	2. The Light

**_Ok so far this is going smoothly (which is better than I had thought it would be). I write better during the night and Tuesdays are my only day off so I can't promise any *super* quick updates but I won't abandon this story either and leave people hanging with cliffhangers. Good thing is that everyone knows how this ends so that's good! _**

_**Also, music has definitely helped with this fic so far. =D I pretty much have listened to **__**"Winter (What We Never Were After All) by Múm and **__**"What Do You Go Home To" by Explosions in the Sky.  
**_

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She had fallen asleep.

Her face relaxed and her breathing became deeper but her hand still held mine, enveloping me entirely in her warmth. There is no doubt that she is too brave for her own good, that one day that bravery will get her killed. There is also no doubt that she cares for me, that she has taken the pain to invite me into her home, dangerous as I may be, and allow me into her bed. I could easily kill her and yet she sleeps peacefully, almost unaware of the killer that I know I could be. Perhaps it is good that I have no memory of my past deeds for they would taint whatever memories I have begun to develop ever since she found me.

In the entire void that was my life just a few hours ago, she is now the spark of light that shines within it and has slowly begun to coax me out of it.

And now I await the dawn so that I can crawl into the small hole in the closet and leave her side for the day. The night is endless no more though I wish it wouldn't end so that I would remain here... with her. There's no use in straining to remember something that will only serve to agitate me so instead I think of her. There is nothing else to think about except _her_.

It took a few more reassurances from me to let her know that I had indeed no recollection of anything except that endless road. She had turned up her heating device in the car even though it neither helped nor bothered me. Instead, it only served to flush her cheeks and warm her skin even more. Soon that endless road was no longer endless. We reached her home, located in the middle of the woods, and I could smell the scent of death and decay nearby… a cemetery. Who was this woman that stopped for a stranded vampire, lived in the middle of a forest that was conveniently situated near a cemetery, and was the neighbor of another vampire... who also happened to be her "ex-boyfriend". Fascinating indeed.

I could sense a connection here between the road, the woman, and now the vampire Bill (whom she had referred to as someone I should know of). There was a purpose to me being where I was and though I was no closer to finding the truth about that than I was to recover my memory, I was sure I had found the link. Once again, she had managed to amaze with the way she sent silent reassurances for me though she was oblivious to the fact that she was doing it. Now that she had regained a sense of safety in her home, and with the strict warning that if I failed to behave she would kick me out, she took charge of the situation.

She had also washed my bleeding feet though I'm sure she knew they would heal eventually. I'd be a fool not to admit that it was that gesture that had dissolved any fear or hesitation as to why I would ever trust her. There was no doubt whatsoever that she was a good woman worthy of any man that dared to win her heart.

Gently, she dabbed the washcloth on my feet and cleaned the cuts carefully as she seemed to be concentrating on something else entirely. Her hands were warm and gentle, meticulously taking out any spec of dirt or splinter that had sunk into my feet. There was only the sound of the water sloshing in the basin and her heartbeat which seemed engulfed in the emptiness of her lonely home.

There is still the lingering question of what a woman like _her_ was doing out alone and unprotected. "You were out in the night," I told her, simply so that I could hear her voice reply.

"I was coming home from work, as you can see from my clothes." She nodded down at herself and I can see "Merlotte's Bar" written across her left breast. What is she doing at a bar and without an escort?

"Women shouldn't be out alone this late at night,"

"Tell me about it." She sighed tiredly.

Once again her wording I found her wording strange and it almost felt unnecessary to tell her the obvious reasons as to why it would be dangerous. She really is a strange creature, "Well, women are more liable to be overwhelmed by an attack than men, so they should be more protected—"

"No, I didn't mean literally. I meant, I agree. You're preaching to the choir. I didn't want to be working this late at night."

She was amused despite her growing weariness and worry for my wellbeing. We continued on discussing the reasons for why she shouldn't be out during the night without a male escort and she seems exasperated at the mention of her brother. Her brother should definitely be ashamed that he does not care for his sister the way he should. Nonetheless, it seems I have found a fault all too common in humans; she is definitely proud.

Her exhaustion was clearly visible by then as she got up from her crouching position on the floor and tried to stifle a yawn, "Listen, I think what I better do is call Pam. She'll probably know what's going on with you."

"Pam?" It is another name which I do not remember though deep inside I know I should be able to recall.

"Your second-in-command."

Second-in-command? This Pam was someone who was close to me then… How could she have let me end up where I had been found if she was close to me?

Before I could ask anything else, she stopped me and told me to wait until she is done calling this Pam. Still, we had to be sure that if Pam really was as close to me as she should, that she had not been the one at fault for my current condition. Their conversation continued on and I could only hear fragments of it. Finally, when all was settled between them, she ended their conversation and released yawned.

"Okay, here's the deal," she told me as her lids began to grow heavy, "You stay here the rest of the night and tomorrow, and then Pam and them'll come get you tomorrow night and let you know what's happening."

"You won't let anyone get in?" I trust her, of this I am sure, but anyone else could still be a danger to me. Daytime would be my most vulnerable time yet.

"Eric, I'll do my best to keep you safe," I could hear her even though her voice was so low, almost like a whisper to herself. I believe her but she is still only human. "Come on," she offers me her hand and I take it, following her like a lost child as she showed me around her home. My resting place, the "hidey-hole" as she called it, looked small and uncomfortable but it also looked safe. Though the smell was now faint, I could trace the smell of the vampire who had laid there, no doubt this Bill to whom she had referred to earlier. But there is still some time left before dawn comes and I did not want to stay cramped up in that resting place and the rooms would feel empty without her comforting presence. She asked me if I would forget to hide from the sun but the action is ingrained into me and there is no doubt that I would know. Instead I ask if can spend the rest of the remaining night in her room and she is too tired to deny my one request of her. She smiled.

Still holding on to my hand, she led me to what is her room and ordered me to sit on a chair near her bed while she readies herself. It did not take long for her to come out from the bathroom, and she is almost oblivious to the fact that I was still in the room watching her every move. Her nightgown was old and tattered but it only serves to enhance her beauty even more. Sighing with relief, she released her blonde hair from the ponytail and the perfume of it engulfed me. I yearned to be closer to her. As she finally began to settle into her bed, I joined her simply to revel in her warmth and the scent of her skin. If I did not survive the day, there was one thing I needed to know before she drifted off to sleep; her name, Sookie Stackhouse.

And here I am now, enjoying my last few minutes with her before the dawn takes me away from her side. Even in her half-awake state, she searched for my hand and placed it over mine in a show reassurance. She had no idea how much I needed it…


	3. Warmth

_**I haven't had time to work on this fully since I'm always some sort of busy with work. I've also been trying to keep myself from working on so many fic ideas since it divides my attention and makes me lose "the voice" I'm working on. Since this fic follows a strict timeline and strict scenes it's sort of hindering my writing since I want to still make it my own. Hopefully it works out well. Enjoy and thanks for reading!  
**_

………………………..

She was now in danger and it was my fault. I would make it my duty to protect her as long as I could.

The silence weighs heavily between us as her brother exits her home for the remainder of the evening. If he was any kind of brother, he would have taken her with him and kept her safe though it is easy to see he is incompetent. Now Sookie had been given the task to watch over me and protect me from _this_ Hallow who had set out to find me. Everything in my mind is chaos and the knowledge that I have gained so far has only helped to have me fear for our lives. I must protect her, she deserves to be cared for when it is obvious she is just as lonely as I am. We are alone, together.

"How did this happen?" I hear her ask, her voice barely a whisper as she stares out into the fire.

"I think this happened because you have a greedy brother, and because you are the kind of woman who would stop for me even though she was afraid." Once again, her expression indicates I have stated the obvious though her smile shows me she appreciates it.

"How are you feeling about all this? I mean—it's like you're a package that they put in a storage locker, me being the locker." She says this grimly. Her question takes me aback and her blue eyes gaze upon me expectantly. I do not want to be burden to her but right now, she is the only one I can bring myself to trust fully.

"I am glad they are afraid enough of me to take good care of me." What other reason could these two vampires have to go to such lengths to protect me? Pam, the female one, belonged to me- there was no need for my memory to know that she was my child. But the predicament I was in left me in a weak state and loyalty born out of fear would not guarantee my safety.

"Huh," Her short reply indicates that she is questioning my logic in all of this

"I must be a frightening person, when I am myself. Or do I inspire so much loyalty through my good works and kind ways?" She laughs at this and it only helps to reinforce my reasoning of who I was. "I thought not." It was simply pathetic that I was stripped of any knowledge of myself.

"You're okay," She gives me a reassuring smile. "Aren't your feet cold?"

They're not and I tell her so, but she still gets up to bring over an old and miserable quilt from behind the couch and drapes it over my feet. Whoever made this quilt must have run out of patterns that complemented it and added whatever they had found whenever it had torn. I can already sense her eyes on me as she takes the look of disgust that has come across my face.

"That's truly hideous," I say this before I even think of how it might make her feel but it only makes her smile wistfully.

"That's what Bill said." She is on laying on the floor besides me, arms crossed and her head resting on them as she looks up at me.

"Where is this Bill?" I ask her. It is not the first time she has mentioned Bill and I wonder why he is no longer with her.

"He's in Peru." The wistful smile she had earlier is suddenly gone from her face.

"Did he tell you he was going?"

"Yes." Her answer is short and to the point and I take it the relationship had a messy ending.

"Am I to assume that your relationship with him has waned?" I find myself hoping that she is free of this vampire- I do not want to bring her more trouble than what she already has.

"We've been on the outs. It's beginning to look permanent," It is the answer I was looking for but it has also shown me that she has been hurt. What has made this human so special that she has been able to capture the attention of a vampire to the point that he would tell her his whereabouts when he no longer had to? How could she be able to care for creatures like us- like me- to the point that she would stop for me and care for my wellbeing whether she was paid or not? I'm desperately trying to piece everything together in my mind… I really couldn't be so terrible when I was my usual self if I had managed to gain her trust. I position myself on my stomach just like her and throw the ratty quilt over us.

"Tell me about him," I ask her and her eyes widen in something similar to shock as I say this. It is almost as if she does not believe that I want to know more of her although she has no idea how much I want to know about her life. If I know more about this Bill, it would only help me to gain access to way of thinking and why she would ever come to feel anything akin to affection for one of our kind.

She begins to tell me about Bill, how he too is one of my subjects, and about his mild temperament. There still seems to be some hesitation on her part as she speaks about Bill and I can sense the sadness that she has been repressing and denying ever since I pointed out to her that I could sense her emotions.

"He loves you?" I ask her at one point and she pauses for a moment to gather her emotions and rein them in. That is how she explains the beginning of the end for their relationship. She tells me about Bill's maker, how she called to him and how Bill left her for this woman- a vampire ho as Sookie referred to her- only to be tortured for information. The bond between maker and child is a strong one, but Bill must have been completely enthralled if he could not tear himself away and stake the bitch himself. It is also true that you cannot torture someone that you have loved at one point in your life or else it was never love. No matter the circumstances, I knew deep inside that I would remain loyal if I ever felt love for anyone.

"Anyway," she continues on, "you told me to go to Jackson and find him, and I sort of picked up clues at this nightclub for Supes only. Its real name is Josephine's, but the Weres call it Club Dead. You told me to go there with this really nice Were who owed you a big favor, and I stayed at his place. But I ended up getting hurt pretty bad," She gives me a sideways glance and pauses for dramatic effect.

"How?" I ask her.

"I got staked, believe it or not."

Staked? Even worse, she had done this for a lover who had left her for another without a single honest goodbye.

"Is there a scar?" I _have_ to see it, to confirm that this woman is brave and loyal and worthy of any man who would dare to have her.

"Yeah, even though—" she cuts off and a blush begins to creep up to her face.

"What?" I am anxious to hear the rest of the story but she is hesitant about finishing it.

"You got one of the Jackson vampires to work on the wound, so I'd survive for sure . . . and then you gave me blood to heal me quick, so I could look for Bill at daylight."

Another valuable piece of information that lets me know I had valued her enough before to risk giving her my blood. I had asked her earlier if we had been lovers for there was no other way I would ever think to give my blood so freely. She had denied it then but the wave of lust that came after told me that she was holding back on the circumstances. Now the flush on her face indicates that whatever must have happened that night would have led to something more. This also indicates that I have cared for her, which explains her obvious trust in me. She is staring into the fire again and blushing furiously as she avoids my gaze.

"And you saved Bill?" I decide to move the conversation further and avoid the previous subject for her sake.

"Yes, I did," she says proudly as she rolls onto her back and looks up at me. The sadness from before has waned away and she looks happier and comfortable around me. She pulls up the plain T-shirt she has been wearing and shows me the scar with pride. For a scar, it has healed nicely and I am glad that I was around to have kept her alive. I reach out to trace the scar and though the skin there is rougher and imperfect, it only accentuates her overall beauty. My fingers linger on the pink skin and I have the sudden urge to kiss her but instead I pull back. It is not the right time.

"And what happened to the vampire ho?" I ask instead.

"Well, um, actually, I kind of . . . She came in while I was getting Bill untied, and she attacked me, and I kind of . . . killed her."

I look at her, trying to discern if she would ever have it in her to truly kill and to comprehend that she has ended a life, no matter how unnatural. "Had you ever killed anyone before?"

"Of course not!" she retorts, clearly offended by my question. "Well, I did hurt a guy who was trying to kill me, but he didn't die. No, I'm a _human_. I don't have to kill anyone to live."

Human. She emphasizes the word despite the fact that it makes no difference.

"But humans kill other humans all the time. And they don't even need to eat them or drink their blood." I tell her.

"Not _all _humans." She answers back.

She has a point there.

"True enough." I tell her, "We vampires are all murderers." There truly is no other word to describe what we are- what I am. She simply has no idea how easily I could have killed her the night before, how easy it would have been for me to hide the evidence of it. Had it not been for that odd twist of fate, had it been any other human who had found me, I would have definitely killed someone that night. Even now, I thirst for a taste of her, though it is not simply hunger for her blood that is beginning to overcome me.

"But in a way, you're like lions." She muses to herself.

"Lions?" An odd comparison but I let her proceed.

"Lions all kill stuff. So you're predators, like lions and raptors. But you use what you kill. You have to kill to eat."

I have to give it to her, it is a clever analogy and she is trying to prove that I am not a murderer. "The catch in that comforting theory being that we look almost exactly like you," I tell her, "and we used to be you. And we can love you, as well as feed off you. You could hardly say the lion wanted to caress the antelope."

If only she knew how much I craved to do both of those things… How I wanted to taste her and enjoy her body all at the same time. The fire had done lovely things to her skin and she had felt so warm when I had traced that scar of hers…

"Eric," her voice brings me back and I can tell that she has grown wary of me again, "you know you're my guest here. And you know if I tell you to leave, which I will if you're not straight with me, you'll be standing out in the middle of a field somewhere in a bathrobe that's too short for you."

I had not meant to frighten her and I quickly apologize and change the conversation once more. It is absolutely vital for me that I have her trust; at this point she is everything that I have. This curse has managed to successfully block out any significant memory of myself and Sookie has been a window into who I was. Whether I was good or bad, I like the way I look through her eyes so far.

With the moment clearly gone, she gets up from the floor and grabs the WalMart bag her brother brought home earlier with clothes she had sent for. Her brother may be lacking in her home as a protective figure but at least he was caring enough to help her out when she needed him to.

In fact, Jason had been clever enough to ask for the money that was being offered as a reward for my "capture" by these witches. He was lucky that Sookie cared enough for him to protect him from Pam and Chow earlier. Memory or not, I would not have let them harm any part of Sookie- including Jason- if they had come to that decision. I assume that is the reason why she did not want Jason involved or meeting me at all- she was simply protecting him from our world.

For a few hours, she kept me company while we watched some show about vampires called _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. That show was a _hoot_- a word she had used to describe it when she had explained it to me though I have to admit that hearing her laughter and sitting beside her was much more gratifying at times. We had sat on the couch together with the old quilt thrown over has as I lay my head on her lap. She had idly begun to comb through my hair with her fingers and I could feel her contentment bringing me comfort. Any fears I had of not knowing who to trust or who I was were gone whenever she was happy. Without thinking of what she was doing, she was sending me waves of reassurance through the small bond our blood sharing had formed. After a while, she excused herself to retire for the evening and left me to finish off the first batch of episodes alone. It was not the same experience without her amusing commentary or her soothing presence. I suddenly felt cold without her warmth.

So instead I followed her once more, though this time I had a clear objective. I would prove myself worthy of this woman's loyalty. I would protect her and bring her peace the way she had brought me. If anything else, I would not let her down like her former lover Bill.

"Cold?" she murmurs softly. She does not protest my intrusion in her bed and she is slowly slipping into sleep.

"Um-hum," I whisper against her as I place my arm across her waist. I am only hoping for any sign from her to let me know that she will have me. I will pursue her. I will win her. She only has to give me a sign.


	4. Desire

_**It almost feels like sacrilege to mess with this part of the book… oh well. I might as well just get on with it. **_

_**One of the problems with writing beloved and popular characters is that you can only do so much with them if you want to be faithful to canon. That's mostly why I tend to go for the more obscure ones since it gives me freedom to explore them. I love this Eric but I really do miss his confidence and bad assness at this point.  
**_

_**On with the show!**_

…………..

I was a lucky man.

Lust was a common emotion in any sexual being and I had found out from the night before that I was capable of easily evoking it. After all, my rejection of Hallow's offer had ended up with me in this current predicament. With Sookie it was entirely different. I would sense a wave of lust from time to time but she had kept it so controlled I was not sure if I should push her further. Besides, I had given her blood and the blush that had managed to escape from her control had told me the experience had been memorable. But tonight, she had given in much to my surprise and I was… happy. I was complete.

I had just risen and had begun to dress when I heard her enter into to the room. She had been a mix of several emotions and tonight she had seemed especially weary. The moment I had begun to wake, her melancholy mood seeped into mine and left me worried for her wellbeing. Something was not right.

She had closed her eyes when she realized she had seen me naked and her lust quickly began to overpower her conflicting emotions..

"Sookie, are you all right?" I walked over to her and placed my hands on her shoulders. Despite her lust, her depression was still lingering there. Something had happened today and she had been visibly shaken by it.

"Excuse me," She apologized for her intrusion even though she was in her home and with every right to enter without preamble. Aside from that, she had seen me nearly naked my first night here and there had been no hint of the intense desire that had begun to feed my own. "I didn't mean to walk in on you. I should have knocked."

"You have seen all of me before."

She paused and regained her breath, "Yes, but intruding wasn't polite."

"I don't mind. You look upset." I was torn between finding out what happened today and making love to her in the dismal little room we were in. She was trying very hard to rein in her self control but her emotions had now begun to spill over into mine.

"Well, I have had a very bad day," she was completely still and quiet as she said this, her eyes trying to look anywhere except at me. "My brother is missing, and the Were witches in Shreveport killed the—the vice president of the Were pack there, and her hand was in the flowerbed. Well, someone's was. Belinda's in the hospital. Ginger is dead. I think I'll take a shower."

She sprinted out of the room and headed to hers, leaving me battling my own desire for her. This was my chance, if she were to push me away I would accept it but I was fiercely hoping she would not.

She had run to the bathroom in such a hurry that she had left the door to it ajar. The bathroom had already begun to cloud over with the steam from the shower and I could feel that she was enjoying the feel of the warm water running down her body now that she was safely away from me. Careful to not make any noise and startle her from her already frenzied state, I took off my jeans and opened the shower curtain just in time to see her reaching for the soap.

"I'll do that for you," I told her as I took the soap from her hands, lathered up my own, and then set the soap back in its place. She was completely speechless and wide-eyed as she stared at me. We were both wet and naked and there was no use in hiding my obvious arousal from her- not that I would want to anyway. The warmth of the water had warmed her body and the scent of her blood intoxicated me with the desire to make to love to her in that moment and damn it all. But I had to restrain myself because she still unsure whether to kick me out or accept me.

So instead I began to run my soapy hands on her arms and upper body, avoiding her perfect breasts and savoring the sound of her speeding heartbeat. I was simply waiting for her to stop fighting and give in.

"Have we ever made love?" I asked her. From the look at her face I could tell we never had and her silent reply confirmed it. She was still battling herself but her resolve began to slip away.

"Then I was a fool," I am sure that I must have been in the past if she is still so uncertain about me. Whatever approach I must have taken toward her then had been the wrong one. I would not make that same mistake. "Turn around, lover."

Without a word, she obeyed and shuddered when my hands began to work on her back. I could feel her back beginning to press against me and I was sure she could feel my readiness for her. A small sigh escaped her lips and she threw her head slightly back as I worked out the tension in her shoulders. The water ran down her body, caressing every inch of her and accentuating her curves. There was another scar, this time on her back, as if some sort of animal had attacked her. It was older than the one on her side but it must have been just as painful. I traced my fingers on the scar and let them linger there before I reached for the shampoo and began to work on her hair.

"Are you trembling because you are frightened of me?" I asked her as my fingers worked on the nape of her neck and up to her temple. I was second-guessing myself and questioning whether I had been too confident in my pursuit of her. She had been too quiet and she had let me bathe her body but there was nothing to indicate she wanted it to go further. What would I do if she decided to throw me out and cast me away?

Fortunately, she let me discard any doubts I was beginning to have when instead of replying, she turned around and took the soap into her hands and lathered up her own. There was no hint of fear or doubt in her eyes but she was still shy and in disbelief of what was happening. She closed the distance between us and pressed her body against mine and began to work on my bottom, taking care to run her hands smoothly and thoroughly as I allowed her better access. I was pressed against her and with every small movement her body rubbed down against me and gave me tortuous pleasure.

After she'd had her fill, her hands worked their way up to my chest and her flushed face was visible to me once more. She closed her warm mouth around my right nipple and began to suck at it gently as her other hand roamed across my chest and reached to caress my neck. I ran my tongue across my fangs as I tell her to bite a little and she complies. I could no longer hold back. I let my hands roam freely across her body and caressed her breasts, running my thumb over her hardened nipple which was slick with water. I pulled away from her and took one of her nipples into my mouth and replicated her previous movements. She was shorter than me so I had to bend down a little in order to gain better access.

With one free hand, I slipped my hand between her legs and felt her with my fingers. Her breathing was labored and she wildly reached out for anything to hold on to as I caressed her. She threw her head back and leaned her body slightly against the tiles as one of her hands grabbed my hair while the other clutched at the shower curtain. When she managed to pull the shower curtain off partly from its hinges, I shut off the water and decided to move us to a far more comfortable location.

We stepped out of the shower and onto a small mat to avoid any slipping. There were no words between us but we were strangely in synch with each other as we reached for towels to dry each other off. Both of us took our time, exploring each others body with the towel until there was no more water. I bent down to kiss her lips and she stood on the balls of her feet as she reached up to meet me halfway. The cloud of steam had slowly begun to disappear around us and I realized it was the first time I had ever kissed her…as far as I knew. Actually, it is the first time I have any memory of kissing anyone. For me in that moment, in all the mental darkness that I have been in these past two nights, she has been my first kiss.

"The bed," I told her as I struggled to free myself from her lips but she nodded in agreement and I gathered her up in my arms and laid her on her bed. After arranging the bed sheets and settling down, she turned to me and we began to kiss and explore each other once more. I kissed my way down her neck as I caressed her legs and let her feel me pressed against her. Her hands ran down my abdomen and she took hold of my length in her hand and began to slowly stroke me.

I placed myself on top of her and she guided me down to her entrance. She was nervous and excited and beyond ready for me.

"My lover," I whispered, barely able to contain myself though I know I should be gentle. I then pushed myself into her and I could feel her envelop me in her warmth and softness. She closed her eyes and arched her back as she adjusted to me and I had to stop myself before going any further. We were both hovering over the edge and I wanted to take the plunge looking into her eyes.

"Don't close your eyes. Look at me, lover." I whispered to her softly and held her face with my hand while the other is on the pillow. Her blue eyes meet mine and she arches up to run her tongue along my extended fangs.

"Watch me," I say and pull myself out of her despite her protests and begin to kiss my way down her body. Her body exudes a heady scent of soap, blood, and sweat and I began to work my fingers inside her as I placed a few strategic kisses and licks which only elicited increasing moans from her mouth. With both fingers insider her, I began to speed up until I could find the trigger to her release. I looked up for a moment to make sure she was watching and then I began to nuzzle and kiss her inner thigh, already imagining the taste of her sweet blood which I could hear pumping in her veins wildly. When I finally bit, she lost any control she had been holding on to and began to shudder and moan with the orgasm that overtook her.

My small intake of her blood only helped to reinforce the bond that allowed me to feel her emotions. I could feel the remains of her orgasm spill over to me and I wanted to be inside her once more, only this time she would be fully ready for me. I kissed her, letting her taste herself in my mouth as she spread her legs wider to allow me access. We were both already past the edge and it did not take long for her to reach a second climax in which I followed along with mine. She was mine…and I was hers.

Her breathing was labored and she allowed me to collapse on top of her long enough to gain sense of what had just happened. When I finally propped myself up to look at her, her face had grown thoughtful. Her thoughts rippled across her face too fast for me to follow. I only hoped that she would not regret anything.

She began to stroke my hair and tuck it behind my ear.

"I wish," she said still sounding a bit breathless, "I could save orgasms in a jar for when I need them, because I think I had a few extra."

It was the last thing I had expected to her to say and I had to laugh at my own insecurity. Her face brightened as soon as she heard my laughter and her own insecurities seemed to fall away as well. Still inside her, I positioned her on top of me so that I could look up at her face and body.

"If I had known you would be this gorgeous with your clothes off, I would have tried to do this sooner," I told her.

"You did try to do this sooner, about twenty times," She was smiling, both of us grinning foolishly and deliriously happy. Why had I ever feared her rejection?

"Then I have good taste." She rolled her eyes playfully and splayed her fingers on my chest as she enjoyed the feel of me. "Tell me about us. How long have I known you?" Her hair was still damp from the shower and disheveled from our lovemaking but she could not have looked lovelier.

She nodded at my request as she closed her eyes and quietly let me know that she was cold. After she positioned herself beside me, one elbow propping her up, I grabbed one of the covers and placed it over her body.

She started to tell me of our first encounter but stopped herself halfway when she remembered the events that had left in her a mix of emotions earlier today. I did not want to break away from our current spell and instead told her to save the events of today until she had told me about us. For just a few precious moments, I wanted us to be happy and unaware of the world.

Once again the look on her face indicated that she was not used to being placed first and she reached out to tuck a strand of hair from my face back as she smiled in appreciation. And as she continued on, I found I really was a fool in my pursuit of her. There is no doubt from her explanation on our background that I have always lusted after her though it appears I took the wrong approach. No, this woman was worthy of more than just one night of blood and sex. Tonight had been proof enough that I desired her- an emotion far stronger than just your common lust.

By the time she was done with her tale, I was ready to show her that I would not tire of her. I took my time in bringing her pleasure, and I took the smallest amount of blood I could manage as I bit into her skin. We lay side by side, our bodies pressed together as she dug her nails into my back with every slow thrust. Her muscles tightened around me and we reached our climax together once more, her eyes locked with mine.

She was exquisite. Beautiful. Divine. My Lover. I let her know all of this, making sure to kiss her with each endearment I paid to her as she smiled and relaxed into my embrace. A few minutes passed by, both of us staring out into the distance, her face nuzzling and kissing my neck.

"You are so beautiful." I heard her whisper against my skin timidly.

"What?" It was so random that it had taken me by surprise.

"You've told me you thought my body was nice. I just wanted you to know I think the same about you." She looked up my through her lashes and even after that all that has happened between us, there was still a flush in her cheeks as she admitted this.

Her body was definitely more than _nice_. I would absolutely let her know just how _nice_ I thought it was. "What part do you like best?" I decided to tease her out of her sudden shyness.

"Oh, your butt," she said instantly.

"My . . . bottom?" It was not what I had expected though given her obvious reaction earlier, it wasn't such a surprise.

"Yep."

"I would have thought of another part." I teased her again, determined to change her mind.

"Well, that's certainly . . . adequate,"

"_Adequate_?" I took her hand and guided it down so she could feel me again. "This is _adequate_?" I asked her yet again but grew bold as she tightened her grip on me and I began to harden instantly by her touch.

"Maybe I should have said it's a gracious plenty?" she crooned as she stroked my length and kissed my neck.

"A gracious plenty. I like that,"

She had then proceeded to kiss her way down, nibbling at my skin and running her nails down my chest. When she finally took me into her mouth, it produced an effortless climax that shook me to the core. With my hands entangled in her hair, I pulled her close to me and kissed her to let her know how much I cherished her. Her mouth was warm and slippery and tasted of me. I tasted of her. We had become one.

I really was a lucky man.

She was so lovely in her sleep and this time there was no apprehension or distance between us like the previous nights. Her head was resting on my chest and only the sounds of her gentle breathing filled the room. She was so lovely and most importantly she was now mine. No longer would she be lonely, not while I was around to keep her safe. She had forgotten to tell me about today's incident with Fangtasia and her brother and we had been so enraptured by each other that I did not want to tarnish the moment.

Common lust like what this Hallow had felt for me was fleeting. Desire on the other hand was stronger and far more intimate. The pull of the rising sun calls to me and I tear myself away from her, hating having to leave her alone. Though the cold does not affect me as a human, I can feel it in my flesh as soon as I leave the warmth of her body. She too must feel the sudden emptiness in her bed and she clutches the pillow I vacated to her. I want to stay. But the pull of dawn is beyond my control and her room is not safe for to stay so I must leave her side. I place the heavy covers that are thrown over the edge of her bed on her body and then shut of the lights from the bathroom.

I go to rest, happy to have gained her for myself.


	5. Waiting

_**Sorry for the delay in updating this fic but I was sick (and also injured a finger) and therefore unable to concentrate on anything (or type fast).**_

_**I also have Bill and Eric both fighting for my attention to the point where it's hard to write at all. If I write this one, I have Bill distracting me and so I focus on the Bill one instead only to have Eric bothering me. Grrr! So if this sounds somewhat disjointed… just blame Bill (or my weak immune system or clumsiness). **_

………………..

I was waiting.

For the first time since she found me, I had a sense of belonging, a sense of self. I had hoped to have gained some memory of my former self, something definite about who I was before this curse but was disappointed to have found that I was just as I had been before. Nothing from this damned curse had changed. Until she had found me, I was nothing. I simply existed and ran on instinct. Despite that disappointment, she had given me a new purpose and I would gladly abandon any desire to go back to who I was if I could remain with her.

A part of me had yearned to see her still in bed, waiting for me as if time had not passed, her warm body inviting me inside her once more. Instead, her home was empty of her presence and only our scent in her room bore evidence of the previous night. I would make sure to have her in every room of her home to bring her scent closer to me while she was gone.

Her home was filled with windows into her life. Photos of her as a child and her family were scattered around the walls and several other areas. There was an odd calendar in her kitchen with a word and definition written under the date. I must ask her about that later. There were so many things here that I wanted to ask her about. There were so many rooms I wanted to explore and claim her as mine simply because I wished to imprint her scent there to remind me of her while she was gone. As a vampire, time is nearly endless and the days are simply mere seconds ticking by quickly. But tonight, time seemed to drag on endlessly without her here. It was irritating to have her so far away and unprotected.

I must have spent hours roaming about her home until I could finally begin to sense her coming back to me. She was nervous and worried and I wanted nothing more than to erase those emotions that seemed to be so common in her lately. I had become restless while waiting for her and went out into the cold night for the first time since she had taken me from that road. I was once again in the cold air of the night. The only difference was that somehow I was no longer afraid. As long as she would accept me, this too would be my home. I wondered if that was the purpose of this twisted curse, to keep me away from my usual responsibilities so that Hallow could take over. If that was the case, then it had done its work. I would gladly turn it all away for this, after all Pam seemed capable enough to handle things on her own.

I waited for Sookie in the shadow of her porch as she turned off the engine in her car. She was agitated and shivering from the cold in the air as she hurried toward the house and began to run up the stairs.. I made a mental note to get her a new coat once I had a means to do so. Before she could spot me, I caught her in my arms and she wrapped herself around me and gave a warm sigh of relief. As soon as she realized that I was unharmed and waiting for her, she grew nervous again.

"Eric," she said, "you shouldn't be out—"

I kissed her before she could finish what she was saying. She closed her eyes and gave in for a few seconds as she pressed herself against me. I had been waiting for her for too long and damn if anyone would see us in the night, I wanted her. Still, she found it in herself to pull away and had begun to speak. Determined to keep the rest of the world at bay, I placed small kisses down her jaw and down to her neck as she spoke rather raggedly.

"No, you have to let me speak. We have to hide."

Hide? I had been hiding in her home for the past three days and I was tired of it. I would never be of any use to her if I spent all of our time hiding while she would face danger outside.

"From whom?" I whispered into her ear as I held her close. I would protect her.

"The bad witch, the one that's after you. She came into the bar with her brother and they put up that poster."

"So?"

"They asked what other vampires lived locally, and of course we had to say Bill did. So they asked for directions to Bill's house, and I guess they're over there looking for you."

"And?"

"That's right across the cemetery from here! What if they come over here?"

Good. Now that I had a notion of the creature that I was before I had been cursed, I was no longer afraid. Or maybe it is the fact that I had spent the past three days locked up in her home afraid of the world outside.

"You advise me to hide? To get back in that black hole below your house?"

"Oh, yes. Just for a little while! You're my responsibility; I have to keep you safe."

What she is not aware of is that I too have made a promise to myself that I would keep her safe. She is a lonely woman with no one in the world, her former lover having left her and her brother being nothing but a fool. I would not spend the rest of eternity hiding under home and having her in danger with me powerless. There was no way we were going to win this battle if we did not know what we were facing. I was determined that once Hallow was no longer a threat, I would properly claim Sookie as mine and put her under my protection.

"Come on, lover, let's have a look,"

With her still on my back, I jumped of the porch and we landed silently on the dead grass of winter. Since she was still straddling me, I slung her over so that she would be more comfortable on my back and thus we took off into the night. She gasped in surprise and her grip on me tightened as we raced across the field and into the cemetery. It was exhilarating, this feeling of power and speed. In a way, it was all just as new to me as it was to her, though I cannot explain how natural it all felt as well.

I was merely running on instinct, following scents and sounds, as we traveled down through the cemetery until I could spot Bill's home further up. She had mentioned that was his home when she had first picked me up from that road. There were several cars parked near the cemetery and the scent coming from them was not unfamiliar to me. Weres.

When we finally reached the location of Bill's home, I stopped near an oak and let Sookie slide down off of me. Despite the cold and her initial shock, she had enjoyed the trip the speed of it. Once we had reached Bill's home and heard Hallow and her brother rummaging about, she had grown nervous once more.

Determined to keep my own pledge to protect her, I trapped her against the tree in an attempt to protect from whatever danger the night may bring. Her small hands immediately held on to my wrists tightly in an attempt to protect me herself.

"This car hasn't moved in a while," I heard a woman say. The voice was merely an echo in my mind but I was sure whom it belonged to. Hallow.

"The house is locked up tight," a man replied, her brother.

"Well, we can take care of that." She told him.

Sookie tried to make a sudden move when she realized that they planned to break into Bill's home but this was not her fight and she must stay in place. We were merely there to investigate. Despite the pain I knew she would feel in being flattened against the rough bark of the tree, I pressed myself against her and thus ensured that she was unable to make any sudden movement.

The witch and her brother were in the midst of casting a spell when the scent of the Weres from the cemetery came closer. I could hear her brother warn her that someone was near which caused Hallow to stop her chanting and they began to change into their forms. Their loud howls frightened Sookie and her grip on my wrists loosened. Instead she placed her arms around me and whispered an apology. There was another creature nearby, a shifter that came to accompany the Weres.. I've smelled him on Sookie before, ever since the night Sookie found me and it is obvious that he is friendly. The dog brushed up against Sookie's legs as we three remained by the tree and listened to Hallow and her brother intently. Certain that she would be safe with the shifter, I left her side and instead took into the sky to get a closer look at Hallow and her brother.

I had to fly up near the top of the trees in order to get a full view of everything that was happening down below. It was there where I could see that there were several other Weres, clearly there to take down Hallow and her brother as soon as an opportunity came up. Before they could launch an attack, the witches changed back into their human form and got inside the car as they began to pull away from the house. I followed them as they sped down the gravel road and in their haste ran over one of the Weres. A part of me wanted to follow them and finally be rid of them but they were too fast and I could not put myself in danger when I did not know what I faced. Sookie needed me. Nonetheless the feeling of speed and danger combined into a truly invigorating experience for me. It was fascinating.

Once they were gone, I flew back to Sookie whose concern I had begun to feel flooding over me once I was near her. She was standing in Bill's porch as she gazed at the large pack of Weres who surrounded the wounded female. I landed beside her on the porch of the old home and told her of how I followed the witches until they were out of sight. The shifter dog was still by her side and had clearly done his job in protecting her though he had suddenly found it necessary to protect her from me. Damn shifters.

Sookie was familiar with a few of these Weres and they signaled for her to help the injured female. After she inspected the female's injuries, she sent me to go back to her house and fetch the car so that she could take the wounded female to get help. I took her keys and flew back to home, enjoying the freedom of the night and the adrenaline of the previous chase filled me with an entirely new energy. I was glad to discover that I was a quick study and had apparent experience with these cars because it had not been difficult to drive that contraption of hers. In no time, I had mastered it and once again I felt useful. Though I still prefer flying free into the night, there is a whole new exhilarating feeling in driving. If only she had a better car…

I got back to Bill's home in no time though the wounded female was looking even worse. The Weres along with the shifter eyed me warily as I exited the car and proceeded to help Sookie place the female inside though the Weres instantly grew suspicious and started to bark. Damn Weres.

One of the Weres, the pack leader I suppose, had changed back into his human form and volunteered to help the female inside though judging by his small physique I doubted he could. They hesitated in moving her, afraid that they would only hurt her more. After debating whether to have an ambulance take her and how suspicious it would all come across, the Were finally agreed to place her inside the car.

Surprisingly, the Were was stronger than he looked and was able to carry the female and place her in. He still needed help so I opened to the door and helped him place her further into the seat, careful in hurting her as we did so. Still, the female was in pain and her shriek caused Sookie to quickly get into the car and I followed.

"You can't go." She told me sternly.

"Why not?" I asked her. Surely she did not plan to drive in the middle of the night with an injured Were at her side? Was I not useful to her?

"I'll have twice the explaining to do if I have a vampire with me!" She frowned at me though I did not move from where I was sitting. "And everyone's seeing your face on the damn posters," She pleaded, sounding a bit afraid. "I live among pretty good people, but there's no one in this parish who couldn't use that much money."

I wanted to go with her and protect her in case anything happened though she was right. I would only be more danger to her than actual help. It was infuriating.

"Turn off the lights and relock the house, okay?" she called out before she pulled away from the house.

"Meet us at the bar when you have word about Maria-Star!" the Were called out loud enough for her to hear. "We've got to get our cars and clothes out of the cemetery."

I felt somewhat foolish, being handed over from one hand to the next and feeling quite useless. Before I did as I was told, the Were informed me that I too would have to attend the meeting seeing I was part of the injured party and that I should wait in Sookie's home for Pam to come take me there.

And I was back to where I started earlier this evening- roaming about Sookie's home, waiting for something to happen, and eager to continue where we had left off the night before. Judging by tonight's events, it was doubtful whether we would have any time left for ourselves this evening. After all, time passed by way too quickly, like mere seconds ticking by in the giant clock that was life. I was just waiting…


	6. Beatitude

_**Sorry for not posting as often as I had planned but just reassuring all of you that I will finish this to the end. (There are only about 3 or 4 chapters left to this). My muse has just been playing hide n' seek with me as of late so it was a bit tough writing this one. This is my first "original" chapter since all the others have a large amount of dialogue borrowed from the book.**_

_**Enjoy and of course, the reviews are always so lovely! **_

……………..

"So what exactly did you plan to do to the red-headed Were anyway?"

Her question caught me off guard, especially because Sookie had been so upset over my outburst at the bar earlier this evening. Truly, I had planned to kill the insolent Were though in hindsight it was clearly a bad idea. It would have strained the weak relationship that was being formed to defeat the witches. It would have also upset Sookie even more and that was definitely something I had no intention of doing.

"I had planned on scaring her enough until she apologized to you. If she did not…" I trailed off, hoping she would understand me without having to explain myself. She nodded and continued chewing on the sandwich she had made for herself as she became lost in her thoughts once more. She was sitting on top of the kitchen counter while her naked body was wrapped and kept warm by the afghan she had lent me many times before. Since I was not as susceptible to the cold, I remained naked and stood beside her as I watched her eat with a sense of rapture.

"You don't have to do that."

"Do what?" I asked with no idea as to what she was referring to.

"Stand there while I eat. I know it must make you uncomfortable." She had finished chewing and had set her meal aside on the dish beside her though she had not finished. I had not intended to make her uncomfortable.

"No. I find it quite fascinating actually. Is it good?" I asked.

"What?" she stared down at me in disbelief and set the sandwich down on the small white plate beside her.

"The sandwich. Is it any good? I love the facial expression you make when you take a bite. It must be delectable."

"Oh… yeah." She looked at me carefully, probably wondering if I was teasing her or serious. "It's just that I haven't had the chance to sit down and eat for some hours now so it's really good right about now." She reached for the glass of water beside her and the afghan slid slightly from her body, revealing her beautiful and warm skin. I would have begged her to remain naked for me had it not been for the draft coming in from the windows in the kitchen. We were in the solace of her home, our home, and as soon as the weather was warmer I would make nudity a staple in her home whenever she was around me. There really was no use in having her cover up for me.

I picked up what was left of the sandwich and inspected it carefully. It was so simple and not at all like the elaborate meals in her cookbook but she had been happy eating it just the same. Two pieces of bread covering a thin slice of meat and some substance she called _mayo_ coating the inside of the bread. While she had been at work earlier this evening, I had explored her kitchen and knew fully well that there were better options for her to eat. Overall, the evening had been a mess and with the stress of having to keep me hidden away added to her missing brother, she had to keep herself healthy. Not to forget that I had completely exhausted her after our very pleasurable return home. The added scent of fae had only served to make her far more appetizing..

Once she had finished taking a drink and had set her glass of water down, I raised the sandwich to her mouth as she took another bite from it, her eyes intent on my face as she did so. She took it from me as she finished it on her own though her chewing was hesitant. It was almost as if she were still afraid it would displease me to see her eat. I tore my eyes away from her to let her finish the last of her meal and looked to the wall on the kitchen.

"What is that for?" I pointed out to the strange calendar I had seen earlier today and had planned to ask her about.

"You mean my Word of the Day calendar?" She said between bites, "It was a gift from a friend this past Christmas. There is a new word for every new day and I try to introduce it into my vocabulary. It's been so hectic lately that I just forgot about it today. What does it say?" She had finished eating and drank the last of her water

"June 4th, 2005. And the word is Beatitude, a state of supreme happiness or blessedness."

"I've heard that one before. It's from The Beatitudes of God, 'Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted'" She sighed as she placed her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder. The afghan had begun to slide off of her body again but I quickly grabbed it and placed it around her body. "I'd heard that when my parents died. I tend to forget some of the other ones sometimes but that one stuck with me the most." She was lost in her own memories of past loved ones, reminiscing about parts of her life that I'd only had glimpses of in old family photos. I tried to tilt her face up so that I could kiss her but was surprised when she pulled away.

There was a charming blush spreading across her face as she looked away from me. "I have to brush my teeth. I know how much it bothers you." To any other human, her quiet voice would have been nearly inaudible but I had caught every word quite clearly.

"Bother me? Did I have anything against it before?" It was one of those moments when I desperately wanted some part of my memory back so that I could know what had transpired between us before. I had been a fool if had ever protested in turning her away merely because she had finished feeding.

"Well no, not you. I just meant… with Bill. He was a bit touchy about food and everything."

"I don't care." I kissed her and this time she did not pull away until she had to catch her breath. "I drink blood and you still kiss me."

She smirked. "When it's my blood in your mouth it's not so bad, just weird. Now if it was someone else's, I'd turn you down for sure."

"Then I promise to only drink from you from now on." She laughed at my solemn promise and shook her head before she became thoughtful and quiet once more.

"Do you still not remember anything" It was a tentative question and she made sure her eyes were level with mine as she asked this.

"Nothing specific. There are times that things or others feel familiar to me but I am still as lost to my old self as before." It was difficult to find a better word that could describe the feeling I would get whenever I was around someone or something that I knew of before. Most of what I did was merely thanks to my subconscious and the knowledge that had been ingrained in me.

"Being around Pam and the others didn't help?" she tucked a strand of hair from my face to distract me from noticing her growing concern.

"Somewhat but I feel closer to you than I do with anyone else."

"Wow." She exhaled, shocked by my admission though it was something that I was sure I had made perfectly obvious to her from the beginning. "I mean Pam and you are… _were_ pretty close so I'm flattered. She is after all your right-hand in everything"

"Yes, but it seems she is far too occupied with handling things at the moment to have time to bother with me. That is after all why you were the one that 'got tangled up in our vampire shit' in the end."

She threw her head back in laughter as she heard me echo the words she said when she had learned I was to be under her watch until I was myself again. I actually did like Pam and though at the moment I was useless to her or any of the other vampires from my area, she respected me all the same. Even after Chow had expressed his doubts of whether I would ever recover from this spell, she had proven to be highly supportive that it would all turn out for the best and reprimanded him for his insolence. She had complete faith that I would be well once this was all over and I trusted she could handle things well. Pam had been the one to enter Sookie's home earlier when she had been sent to retrieve me for the Merlotte's meeting along with Chow. The other vampire, Gerald, had been waiting in the car since he had never been invited into Sookie's home. Pam had not said much and eyed me carefully as I locked up the house and made sure that everything would be safe when Sookie and I returned home later in the evening. The arch in her brow and the hint of a smile could be seen on her otherwise stoic and delicate features. I could have sworn that she found something highly amusing thought I did not bother to question her at all.

Thinking about Pam's efficiency only served to remind me that I hated feeling useless and it only served to increase my sulkiness. "I'm sorry." I said to Sookie. It was so sudden and I instantly wished I had kept it to myself. I did not want to burden her with my insecurities any longer. She had enough problems of her own.

"About?" she asked gently as her unavoidable contentment filled me with an indescribable feeling of happiness as it crushed any sense of gloom in me. Her arms tightened around me meanwhile I kept the afghan around her with my own embrace. It was difficult to truly resent my current predicament when it had all led me to her and these little moments.

"For being such a burden at times." Her legs wrapped around me and I could feel her growing need as she pulled me closer. "For being reckless." I kissed her neck and let my lips linger there to feel the soft pulse as my nostrils filled with the sweet scent of her blood. Her scent was delightful, sweet and stronger; it was all thanks to the fairy that had accompanied her inside the bar. "For nearly attacking the fairy that saved your life…" The laughter, the completely satisfying laughter that she gave whenever she was completely and fully happy returned again.

"I'd forgotten about that," She said as she pulled away from me and tilted her head to the side thoughtfully. A small feigned frown appeared in her face though the delight in her eyes was still visible. "I _should_ be jealous about that one. Even a tiny bit mad too."

There was no explanation I could give her as to why I had suddenly craved for the fairy except that it was merely an instinct of my vampire nature. Pam and Gerald had managed to suppress their hunger for the fairy far better than me. Had it not been for Sookie... No. There was no time for pessimism tonight. Now that Hallow would soon be defeated, I would not dwell on the things that could have gone wrong. I would not waste these precious hours, minutes, and seconds on troubles. Determined to erase any doubts of my desire for her, I pulled her close to me.


	7. Ingrained

_**I noticed that I post a chapter about every month so I'm sorry about that. Thankfully, I already have this outlined and according to it, I have maybe two chapters left before the final one (which I already wrote *happy dance*). **_

……………..

There was only the slightest hint of a red hue on the western horizon when I rose from my daytime sleep. It was a reminder that there was a whole world moving, living, and breathing around me as I slept hidden away in the dark under the floor of a musty closet. It wasn't a pleasant way to spend one's resting place but for now, I had to endure until everything was back in order.

Unlike the previous night, this time I rose with the clear feeling that Sookie was home much to my relief. I didn't like it that she would be out in the middle of the night with no protection while I lay hidden away in her home. I didn't bother to dress myself and instead made my way into her room, ready to enjoy what would hopefully remain a peaceful evening unlike the one before.

She was sleeping on the bed, her jeans thrown carelessly across her bed with her boots on the floor. It was clear evidence that she had been out during the day and must have been simply too exhausted by the events to care where anything landed. Of course, I was able to tell by the scent her skin carried… There was the heady smell of wood and dirt, and I could only imagine what a crisp cool January morning would be like because I knew that I would never be able to see one again. I would only be able to settle for the mere scraps of dawns and sunsets I glimpsed whenever I could. I leaned in close, careful not to wake her as I tried to ingrain the scent of the crisp cool day that was traced across her skin but stopped when I was able to capture the traces of shifter around her. More than one, in fact.

Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled sleepily at the sight of me beside her on the bed.

"Sookie, what is this? You smell of the woods, and you smell of shifter. And something even wilder."

She nodded innocently and then added, "And Were."

"No, not Were," There was something else, not the usual scents that we experienced last night at the bar filled with more than enough Weres and the shifter. This was something stronger, perhaps far more dangerous than your average Were though I could not place it. It was beginning to become annoying when I could not even recollect something so simple.

"More than one kind of shifter," I told her. "What have you been doing, my lover?" The most primitive part in me wanted to claim her as mine in front of anyone who would dare to touch her if only to ward off that dog shifter that was so ingrained in her scent. It would also serve to keep away the Were named Alcide that had been so attentive to her the night before. But overall I trusted Sookie, I knew her emotions well for she shared my blood and though she was a human woman with natural desires, I trusted in her honesty. Besides, she had known all too well just how much damage a betrayal by a lover can cause.

"I was in the search party for my brother, in the woods behind his home," she answered gently and I cursed myself for not remembering the recent plight of her foolish brother. I had been so enraptured by my desire for her and my growing jealousy and fear that she would leave me that I had completely forgotten that she was suffering with constant worry. He was her one and only remaining family member and his wellbeing should matter to me simply because it made her happy. "I'm sorry, I know you are worried." The words were out instinctively simply to show her that I am capable of caring of others beside myself as I pulled her close to me. It angered me that she had been out looking for that fool of a brother while she placed herself in danger though I was careful to keep that much to myself.

"Let me ask you something," She pulled away from my embrace which had been meant to be a sign of comfort and silent apology. Her shining blue eyes looked directly for my expression though I was sure she could not see me in the darkness.

"Of course."

"Look inside yourself, Eric. Are you really, really sorry? Worried about Jason?"

"Of course," It was an instant reply, meant to appease her though it was not fair to her because I realized that deep inside, I truly wasn't the least bit worried about Jason himself. She had asked for honesty and I was obliged to comply, "Not really." Despite the darkness, I could see her face well and she did not seem surprised by my admission. She had actually looked relieved. This only gave me courage to continue, "I know I should be. I should be concerned about your brother, because I love having sex with you, and I should want you to think well of me so you'll want sex, too." It was as honest an answer as I could give her.

Her warm palm was laid upon my cheek as she stared at me in the darkness, "But you'll listen, right? If I need to talk? For the same reason?"

"Of course, my lover." That too, was entirely the truth.

"Because you want to have sex with me." She added dully.

"That, of course. But also because I find I really do . . ." I trailed off, and once more looked inside myself as she had suggested. I wanted to give her an honest answer. With everything that was happening, I found myself thinking I should let things be for now. I should wait until all this is over before I jump into anything but the impending feeling of doom pushed me to admit something that I had been feeling with increased strength. "I find I have feelings for you." And as soon as it was said, it did not feel like I had said enough.

"Oh," She was just as startled as I was about my confession and she buried her face in my chest, her arms wrapped around my torso tightly. The warmth of her body, though still partially clothed, filled my own with heat and happiness. She is a mix of emotions all the time, lately dominated by fear and worry and I am glad that I am able to bring her enough happiness to let it overflow into me. It is a cycle that I have no desire to end.

We lay there for a while as she took her time to sort her own feelings and for me to understand my own.

"Eric," she broke the spell by tentatively adding, "I almost hate to say this, but I have feelings for you, too." She hid her face on my chest again though I could already imagine the flush in her lovely face. We are treading new ground, both uncertain where this would take us. She propped herself up on the bed as she let her hands roam freely only to see that I was completely naked. I had not greeted her properly as I had planned when I woke and I was determined to do so before anything else ruined our evening.

"Not love, exactly," I began to tug at her clothing, becoming impatient with the many layers the cold weather forced her to wear.

"No, but something close." She added as she helped me undress her, both of us ready to explore this new emotional ground on a physical level. "We don't have much time, Eric," Her hand closed her hand around me as she whispered in my ear, "Let's make it good."

And underneath all her desire and joy, that feeling of anxiety made its appearance for a few seconds. I was determined to keep it away. I wanted to kiss her and taste her entirely. I was determined to keep her ingrained in my memory the way I had tried to ingrain the scent of day within me.

Her mouth and my mouth were one and the same. Every flick and every movement, we echoed as waves of pleasure flowed from her to me. There it was, the wondrous cycle that had me craving for her insatiably. I could only wonder if she was as receptive to it as I was. Memories or no, I was sure that never before had I experienced anything like this.

As much as I tried to have her forget, there it was again, her anxiety seeping through me and finally beginning to worry me as the last remnants of our tiny peace began to fade. She had given herself in as entirely as she could during those moments, taking and enjoying every second as if it were the last time she would ever have me.

"What's happened?" We are both spent and holding each other as we lay across the rumpled sheets of her bed. "I can tell something is frightening you."

She glances at the clock on her bedside table and begins to pull away from me.

"We have to go to Shreveport now. We're already past the time Pam said on the phone. Tonight's the night we face off against Hallow and her witches."

"Then you must stay here,"

"No," she says gently as she places her hand on my cheek, a gesture she seems to do often when she wants to me fully listen to her, "No, baby, I have to go with you."

We are both reluctant to go, both of us afraid that things will change once everything is over. This may be the last time we share such peace inside her home while the world begins to fall apart outside. She keeps her distance from me as she begins to dress for the evening that awaits us and I do my best to not push her over the edge. If I had my way, she would remain home while I went to meet my fate but I can only trust that Pam knows what she is doing in having her there. If any harm were to come to Sookie thanks to me… No. I would not dwell on that. I would win this battle and I would make sure that once everything was settled, Sookie will take her rightful place by my side. Everything would be as it should be.

I am done dressing before she is and head into the kitchen to wait for her. Her calendar is there, still on the same date from the previous memorable night and I change it for her knowing full well just how important it is becoming in her life.

She emerges from the room and gives me a brave smile as she jingles her cars keys as sign that we should leave. We shut off the lights, lock up, and get inside her car as we begin to make our way to the potential battlefield. Though she hides it bravely, she grows nervous as we approach Shreveport and her turns become jerky as if she were internally debating on going back. Meanwhile my mood seems to improve now that I am finally out and ready to do something useful for once. No more hiding in her home while she places herself in danger again and again for me and for others. I can protect her. I _will_ protect her.

Her mood momentarily sours when we have to pull aside to check on the map she kept in her dashboard. She had told me the address without realizing that I had no clear idea how to even remember who it belonged to much less how to find it on the muddle of names and lines that were scribbled on the slightly tattered thing called a map.

"Your word of the day was 'annihilate,'" I tell her in an attempt to feel useful to her once more and receive an indulgent smile along with a "thank you" though her emotions are still on edge. Once she is done with the map, I take it from her and put it back in its place as we get back into the highway.

"You're sounding pretty excited about all this." She gives me a quick glance and then focuses on her driving. She is far more relaxed now that she is sure where we are heading.

"Sookie, there's nothing like a good fight," Especially when the odds of winning that fight are pretty high.

"That depends on who wins, I would think."

True enough.

........

_**BTW: Sorry that my chapters are always short but I like them this way. They're quick to write, quick to edit, and since I always struggle to find time, it's also refreshing. I have been a bit out of the loop lately and had absolutely no time to focus on this chapter for a while so hopefully I got back into the "rhythm" of it. **_

_**Thanks for reading & reviewing!**_


	8. Decipher

_**This was a lot longer but instead cut it in half and will post the other part soon when I finish retouching it. I just found the Alcide/Debbie drama tedious and it started to wear me out by the end. **_

…..

There were so many lights- mixtures of reds and greens and yellows- all interspersed into streaks as I stared out of the car window. Here we were, heading out into an uncertain fate as the humans enjoyed their cold January evening warm and safe in their homes. Soon it would all be over and I would be back to my "old self" as Sookie reassured me many times before. But I had only a vague idea of who I was thanks to Sookie and the very small details she was able to give me only brought a small amount of comfort.

According to her, I was a former Viking and over a thousand years old. I may have been married once in my human life though she was unsure to whom or anything beyond that. That appeared to be the closest to what I would consider as personal information from me that she could give me though I was curious how she had even been able to glean that information from me. There was also the obvious fact that I was the Sheriff of Area five and had many "underlings" as she liked to call them, the top one being Pam. Was Sookie was even aware that Pam was my child? How could I have grown to feel so strongly for this woman who knew nothing essential about me when we had been so distant before? This worried me and as sure as I wanted to be about how everything would be alright in the end, I could only wonder if she would still want me when this spell would be broken. My thoughts raced through my mind one after the other like the flashing lights from every vehicle on the road and the many shops along the way. In some dark and desolate part of my mind, I had begun to wonder if what we had grown to feel for each other these past few days had been a part of the curse though hope had me inclined to believe that what I felt was true.

While I was going over several reasons and purposes of the curse and my relationship with her, Sookie had successfully reached our destination: 714 Parchman Avenue. It was a quiet neighborhood but the evening felt too peaceful, a possible sign that the rest of the night would prove to be a difficult one. Once we would step out of the car, our little bubble of peace would be shattered and both of our lives would be in danger. If we went back, if we followed her initial instinct and desire to go home, we would not be involved in the war that would ensue once we decided to go join the others. If all went well, Pam would succeed and with the help of the Weres, defeat the witches and we would never have to endanger ourselves. We would wait together in her home- our home if she allowed it- and I would follow along with my promise to place her above all others. And I would do everything within my power to show her that she could be loved.

The engine in her car shut off when she turned the keys though she remained inside and sat still as we both stared out into the darkness. It was warm thanks to the heater in her car though it was more for her benefit than mine. Humans are so fragile. There was only silence now that there was no other noises save for her breathing and the frantic beat of her heart.

I kissed her.

It was a simple action, I had only to lean over to her side and let her turn her face toward me. She responded eagerly, gripping the collar of my new flannel shirt and then letting her hands trail upwards to touch my hair the way she liked to. It was tied back with an elastic band I had found lying about in her bathroom when we had been preparing to leave. Instead, she let her fingers caress the nape of my neck. I had hoped that a kiss could serve let her know everything that I had been feeling for her lately, something that could not be put into words because I myself did not understand them fully. We pulled away at the same time and looked at each other. I cupped my hand to her cheek, imitating her endearing habit of touching my face whenever she wanted my full attention.

"We could go back," I tell her. The keys are still in place and we are both still inside the car and I can already begin to feel her internal debate. She only has to reach for them and rotate them, the engine would fire up, and we would be on our way back home. "We could go back to your house. I can stay with you always. We can know each other's bodies in every way, night after night. I could love you." There! A spark of emotion at my last words and it propels me to continue, "I could work. You would not be poor. I would help you."

"Sounds like a marriage," she says weakly as she presses her cheek against my palm and gazes at me.

"Yes,"

Her expressions become unreadable and are too fast for me to follow though she is trying to smile at my offer. There is a strange mixture of joy and sadness though surprisingly, there is also anger there. Is she angry at herself or at me?

It is a simple choice I have given her; whether to leave or stay. Her hands reach for the keys and for the smallest moment, they linger there as she stares at the garage door of the house we should have been inside of a while ago. But she makes her decision when she takes the keys out and exits the car, slamming the door hard. I have to trail along behind her as I try to decipher what she means when she calls herself an idiot. I do not ask her for an explanation and let things be. Whatever decision she has made, she is unhappy.

We go inside the house and I can smell the scent of Were grow stronger as well as sense that there are others of my kind. I do not recognize the others save for Chow, Gerald (whom I met the night before), and Pam, whom I would recognize her as my own anywhere because after all she was my own. Alcide is there as well though he is accompanied by Debbie, the shifter that had placed Sookie's life in danger while she was at Jackson. Whatever relationship Alcide has with that woman, he still dares to show his displeasure at seeing me arrive with Sookie. As soon as we make our presence clear to the others, all conversations stop and we are greeted with both annoyed and expectant stares most importantly from Pam herself.

"We expected you earlier," she says as Sookie and I take our place in the only empty seats that are meant for us.

"Hi, good to see you, too, thanks for coming on such short notice," Sookie mutters, her voice laced with sarcasm as I look across the room and am greeted with more anxious stares. It is strange to be looked upon as a type of leader when I have no knowledge of what I am supposed to do or what dealings I've had with these creatures before in the past.

"Well, let's lay this out," Pam breaks the awkward silence and everyone's attention immediately turns to her, "Thanks to the Were trackers, we know the location of the building Hallow is using for her headquarters." She is uncomfortable taking control of the situation with me there helplessly looking on and avoids looking directly at me throughout the meeting. Other than that, she is doing a flawless job in getting everyone to listen to her and take her as their leader. "We'll infiltrate the neighborhood slowly. The witches have already broadcast a lot of magic in the area, so there aren't too many people out on the streets. Some of the Weres are already in place. We won't be so obvious. Sookie will go in first."

It was exactly why I had feared for Sookie's safety since I had learned we were supposed to come together. She remains silent and shows no sign of protest to Pam's plan; I can tell she is no stranger to being used. Once, she had mentioned that she would come to me whenever I had made her do something- looking back on that, I was sure it was not the first time she had been put in danger thanks to me. Fangtasia, Dallas, Jackson and now _this_- her talent and dealing with our kind had brought nothing but trouble into her life.

"Why?" Alcide asks Pam the question that I am holding back for lack of a better plan.

"Because Sookie is human," she tells him, "And she's more of a natural phenomenon than a true Supe. They won't detect her."

I can only trust in Pam's judgment and silently vow to keep Sookie safe from any harm that should come her way. I take Sookie's hand in mine as I continue to hold back any protest to this plan. I can see Pam's logic and were it someone else who was meant to go, I would have happily endorsed it. There is no trace of fear or doubt in Sookie's voice as she asks Pam what she is meant to do. She nods and agrees to Pam's plan, taking care to hide her fear which is only adding to my own worry.

"What do we do when we get in the building?" one of the younger Weres with the filed teeth asks. He is young- far too young to realize that what we are heading into. He is still too young to realize what it is to truly kill.

The question takes Pam aback and she answers it bluntly, "We kill them all," Her reply only serves to remind everyone in the room of what our true purpose is. "What else would we do?" she asks when she notices that the mood has suddenly shifted from eagerness to dread.

"They'll do their best to kill _us_," Chow adds as he attempts to help ease Pam's words. "They only made one attempt at negotiation, and it cost Eric his memory and Clancy his life. They delivered Clancy's clothes to Fangtasia this morning." Everyone looks away from me and I can see the embarrassment and pity in their faces. I am part of the reason for why they are here and it seems that they cannot believe I would ever be rendered so helpless. Many would die tonight and I would partake in the bloodbath of this evening along with them. I would be reminded of the true creature that I am and I would prove my worth in battle. There was no greater feeling at the moment than knowing I would finally be able to reclaim independence instead of being hidden away for my own good. If I fell tonight, I would end it all fighting and not hidden away behind a mere mortal woman.

Sookie's free hand pats my own in a sign of comfort and I realize that my hold on her hand is far too strong. It is clumsy of me not to notice that I was gripping it too tightly and can see the skin beginning to redden as the blood begins to flow freely once again. Careful to watch my own strength, I take her hand in mine once more and interlace my fingers with hers. There is small hidden smile at the corner of her mouth as she stares at the others in the room and I rub a finger in the inside of her palm to help soothe her nerves.

"Someone needs to go with Sookie," Alcide had been watching our little interlude and his voice comes out more sharply than what he must have intended, "She can't go close to that house by herself."

"I'll go with her," a voice from one of the other rooms says and a few of the Weres and witches turn to see who it is.

"Bubba!" Sookie is excited to hear the voice and she leans forward to get a better look at the vampire that emerges from the room. The entire room aside from the other vampires seems to be in awe of him though I see nothing extraordinary in him at all. Though he is clearly one of my kind it is amazing how unlike a predator he comes across as being. It is not only in the strange manner he is dressed in -with boots and a green outfit with splotches of the same color in different tones- he is strange because of his slow and cautious movements as he enters the room with the apparent innocence of a child. Whatever reason the others have for looking up at him in sudden admiration is lost to me.

"Pleased to see ya, Miss Sookie," Bubba said. "I'm wearing my Army duds."

"I see that. Looking good, Bubba." She says as she smiles up at him.

"Thank you, ma'am."

Pam remains silent during their exchange as she is considering Bubba's offer, "That might be a good idea," she said. "His, ah- the mental broadcast, the signature, you all get what I'm telling you?- is so, ah, atypical that they won't discover a vampire is near."

"Where's Bill, Miss Sookie?" Bubba asks sounding both curious and upset once he notices that Sookie and I are holding hands. I am beginning to grow tired of just how many disapprove of her being with me.

"He's in Peru, Bubba. That's way down in South America." She replies calmly as she gives me a gentle squeeze with her hand. Her voice does nothing to betray the sting she feels every time she thinks of Bill.

"No, I'm not," another voice answers as he emerges into the already too crowded room, "I'm back."

Bill Compton and Sookie's former lover stood before us all at the doorway as he took notice of Sookie and me sitting together. To anyone else in the room he would have looked perfectly calm as he stared our way though after a close inspection it is evident he is holding back his emotions. His arms are crossed, a casual expression to anyone else, though his fingers dig into his arms as he gives me an accusatory stare.

"Good, we need you tonight," Pam greets Bill and asks him about his trip before she quickly sets out to introduce him to the others in the room. "You know the rest of the people here?" she says with a small flourish of her hands and the formality of all the introductions seem out of place with this strange group of allies.

Bill looks around the room and recognizes a few of the Weres in the room though he is unfamiliar with the witches. He does however, recognize Alcide though he does not appear to be overly glad to see him either- something I understood all too well.

"What is Debbie Pelt doing here?" he asks Pam as he gives a casual nod in Debbie's direction. I had been too busy inspecting Bill that I had failed to notice Debbie's sudden fear as he looked her way. The moment he had entered the room, Debbie's smug expression of being close to Alcide and the only shifter allowed in the meeting faded from her face.

"She's Alcide's woman," Pam replies carefully as she too notices the tension between them, "She's here for a visit, and she decided to come along with him. You object to her presence?"

"She joined in while I was being tortured in the king of Mississippi's compound. She enjoyed my pain." His voice is expressionless as he looks down at a nervous Debbie on the floor. She is holding on to Alcide's leg and most likely debating whether to run away now or stay and face what was to come.

I remembered the story all too well and remembered that Sookie had rescued him the morning after being staked and having sharing my blood. It had been a brave act and something she should not have done for an unfaithful lover such as him. She had also mentioned being locked up in a trunk with him thanks to Debbie Pelt though she avoided going into many details on the incident itself. All she had said was that she was lucky I had arrived on time to rescue her before she was drained. Whatever Bill had planned for Debbie, I would be happy to help in her demise.

Alcide began to question Debbie as he pulled her arms away from him as everyone else in the room gave them their fullest attention. Sookie's hand gripped mine tightly though not nearly as a strong as I had held on to her earlier as she paid close to attention to what was happening before us. Bill stood emotionless as he accused her of the crimes she committed against him and the attack against Sookie while Debbie pleaded with Alcide that it had all been a simple mistake. Alcide shook his head and stared down at his hands as a frantic Debbie begged him to forgive her, continuing to kneel on the floor and looking up at him.

Finally, he raised his head and looked directly her, "I abjure you," A few of the Weres flinched as he said this and a couple of others smiled though the entire room remained silent. "I see you no longer. I hunt with you no longer. I share flesh with you no longer." I had no knowledge of this tradition though judging by Debbie's horrified expression it was the most drastic thing Alcide could have done to her aside from killing her.

"It's an ancient tradition and a horrible punishment. Never seen one performed in person… Only read and heard about them." one of the witches muttered to another and I was able to capture a fragment of her explanation though she was unable to finish after Debbie began to protest loudly.

"No, Alcide!" The proud Debbie was reduced to nothing more than a less than pitiful creature as she continued kneeling on the floor and pleading with Alcide to take his words back,

But to him, she no longer mattered. She was nothing more than a forgotten memory, a bad plague in his mind that he was no doubt happy to be rid of. He stared right through her as she waved her hands in front of him and tried to force him to look at her.

"All right then," Pam's brisk words took everyone's attention from the scene we had just witnessed. No matter how interesting it may have been, we were all here for a different reason,

"Bubba will lead the way with Sookie. She will do her best to do whatever it is that she does- and she'll signal us." Pam pauses and then looks at Sookie, "Sookie, a recap: We need to know the number of people in the house, whether or not they are all witches, and any other tidbit you can glean. Send Bubba back to us with whatever information you find and stand guard in case the situation changes while we move up. Once we're in position, you can retire to the cars, where you'll be safer."

"This sounds okay, if I have to be involved at all," Sookie nods and I can feel her relief at not having to be in the middle of the war. She was here for her ability and I was here to kill as many of the witches as I could though my fate after that was uncertain. I tug on Sookie's hand and show her that I agree with Pam's plan. Yet once the danger from the witches is gone, what other purpose would I have afterward? Would I remain in the same condition until Hallow's spell wears off with her death or would Pam do something to bring me back? Or perhaps I'd be left in this same state and Pam would take over my position… though as I think clearly on it, Pam is not as comfortable as she would like others to believe in her new role as leader.

"But what will happen to Eric?" Sookie asks Pam, voicing my own thoughts. I have to wonder if she is able to read my mind as well.

"What do you mean?"

"If you go in and kill everyone, who'll un-curse him?" she turns to the witches in the room and asks them directly, "If Hallow's coven dies, do their spells die with them? Or will Eric still be without a memory?"

"The spell must be removed," one of the older witches replies. "If it is removed by the one who laid it in the first place, that's best. It can be lifted by someone else, but it will take more time, more effort, since we don't know what went into the making of the spell."

"So you're thinking we need to save Hallow? To take the spell off Eric?" Pam asks the witch though she is not happy with the new change in her plans. They discuss the new tactic to keep Mark alive and kill Hallow as quickly as possible because she is far more dangerous than her brother. It is strange to be the object of a conversation when I am sitting the same room, ignored and simply used as a means to kill.

I was not the only one in the room sitting unnoticed. Debbie Pelt had stopped her pleading and had picked herself up from the floor as the others paid attention to Pam's conversation with the witches. I look at Bubba and direct his attention to Debbie Pelt with my gaze as she begins to walk back towards the door, careful to not disturb anyone along the way. Bubba grabs her arm and pulls her back though Debbie struggles against his hold on her but his brute force is too much for her.

"Let me leave. I'm not wanted," she says to Bubba though he only looks at Pam as he waits for further instructions.

"If we let you go, you might run to the witches and let them know we are coming," Pam warns her, looking annoyed at being interrupted, "That would be of a piece with your character, apparently."

Debbie only continues to struggle uselessly against Bubba while Alcide remains seated in his chair and looks on without a sign of interest for her fate. Chow suggests for Bill to keep a watch on Debbie throughout the evening and Bill accepts, showing the first sign of emotion since he walked into the room. Debbie sags against Bubba once she realizes she has been defeated though she continues to look longingly at Alcide as if he would suddenly remember her and help. Sookie turns away and her mouth sets in a thin line as she concentrates on looking straight at the wall ahead of her.

……………..

**TBC**


	9. Beginning of the End

_**Almost there…**_

…

Pam arranges for us to be divided into small groups and keep the vehicles in several different locations, far enough to be undetected by the witches, yet still easily accessible. Meanwhile, I am to go along and accompany Sookie and Bubba to park the car in our designated area before parting ways so that I can join Pam and the rest of my kind. Tonight we will be facing real danger and there is the reality that not all of us would come out unscathed by the end of it. I could only hope that Pam's plan worked well and that Bubba would be able to allow us into the witch's lair while Sookie hid away safely until it was all over.

The meeting is finally over as soon as Pam is done speaking with the witches and tells everyone to carry on with what has been planned for the evening. She gets up from her chair and swiftly smoothes the small creases in her outfit as she walks over to our direction. There is a mischievous glint in her eyes as she inspects herself in the mirror that hangs on the wall next to Sookie.

"Sookie, my friend," she said says as she turns around to look directly at her. "Tonight is a great night."

"It is?" Sookie asks cautiously, taken aback by Pam's sudden cheer.

"Yes." Pam's arm goes over a surprised Sookie's shoulder as she looks up me and adds, "We defend what is ours! We fight for the restoration of our leader!" Sookie looks up at me and back at Pam and swallows hard. Her reaction confuses me.

Pam smiles up at me for the first time this evening now that she is not forced to play the role as leader, "Tomorrow, Sheriff, you will be back at your desk at Fangtasia. You'll be able to go to your own house, your own bedroom. We've kept it clean for you."

I would only be going back to an empty home, my night hours consumed by work if everything went according to plan tonight. Hallow would be dead, I would back to my regular existence, and Sookie would be home alone as she continued to look for her missing brother. Though Pam was a small woman and looked quite unthreatening to anyone else, I was her maker and knew all too well that I would never choose a weak creature as my second in command in business affairs. Ever since Sookie had found me, and especially tonight, Pam had proven she could be capable in taking over my role as leader. Though she had not been at ease in doing so while I was there beside her, she had successfully managed to arrange a group of allies that had enough problems getting along and formed a cohesive plan on how to defeat Hallow. She had not faltered to place Sookie in danger by having her be so close to the witches nor planned to keep me stowed away safely to wait for the outcome of the battle. I was brought here along to fight and if the spell could not be broken, I would be useless. It would not matter if I lived or died my final death if I no longer could be what I used to be.

"If I die tonight," I stare down at her and see the pleased grin fade from her face, "pay this woman the money that was promised her." It is the least I can do if tonight does not go as planned.

"I swear," Pam says as she bows her head solemnly and casts her eyes down. She is an obedient and faithful child and I am lucky to have her by my side. "Chow and Gerald will know, too."

"Do you know where her brother is?" I ask her. With all her planning and scheming tonight, I find myself wondering if Pam would have been capable of taking Jason as a means to have control over Sookie. It would certainly make sense if he was no where to be found and would certainly be an effective means to keep my safe. But my question only takes her by surprise as she denies doing so and shakes her head in wonder at my suggestion. Sookie only stares at us both as she pulls away from our touch to get a better look at Pam's expression.

"It occurred to me that you might have taken him hostage to ensure she didn't betray me." I clarify to Pam though also for Sookie's benefit. After all, she cannot read vampire minds.

"I wish I'd thought of that. I wouldn't have minded spending some time with Jason as my hostage." She muses to herself and licks her lips, "But I didn't take him," Pam turns her attention to Sookie, "If we get through this, Sookie, I'll look for him myself. Could it be Hallow's witches have him?"

"It's possible," Sookie says. "Claudine said she didn't see any hostages, but she also said there were rooms she didn't look into. Though I don't know why they would have taken Jason, unless Hallow knows I have Eric? Then they might have used him to make me talk, just the way you would have used him to make me keep silent." She looks up at me and shakes her head, "But they haven't approached me. You can't use blackmail on someone who doesn't know anything about the hold you have on them."

"Nonetheless, I'll remind all those who are going to enter the building to watch out for him," Pam assures her and their conversation trails off to the employees that were hurt at Fangtasia. It is something that should concern me, after all, they were hurt because by the witches that are after me but I find myself too distracted to care to listen. Though he is engaged in conversation, Bill is looking at us from across the room as he speaks to Bubba but I am too late to hear their subject once I pay closer attention. Bill pats him on the shoulder as Bubba leaves the room to wait for us outside with a sullen look on his face while Bill remains leaning alone against the wall.

"Are we ready to go?" Pam asks and I turn to look at her as she flings her blonde hair back artfully and I can smell her perfume- a sweet and musky scent- far too strong for my liking and I can't help but wrinkle my nose in disgust. She is quick to notice my reaction and grins to herself.

"I guess so. No point in waiting." Sookie shrugs in response, aware that we must leave soon whether we are ready or not. Pam bows her head to me though she meets my eyes for a second and motions towards Bill direction before she makes her exit with Chow.

Bill steps in front of Sookie, the same spot where Pam had just been mere seconds ago, though he is careful not to startle her. But I am all too familiar with _my_ lover and her emotions to know that she would rather be anywhere than facing him in that room with me beside her. There are so many dangers and trials facing us this evening and Bill's presence has only served to increase her tension.

"How was Peru?" she asks him happily with a smile that is far too wide to be truly heartfelt.

"I made a lot of notes for my book," he replies calmly and continues to ignore me standing beside her, "South America hasn't been good to vampires as a whole, but Peru is not as hostile as the other countries, and I was able to talk to a few vampires I hadn't heard of before."

"Did you get to see those ruins you talked about?"

"Machu Picchu? Yes, I climbed up to them by myself. It was a great experience." A small smile makes an appearance as he looks at Sookie in silence. She smiles at him in return and I can feel that she is happy for him though her reaction only serves to frustrate me further. Meanwhile, Bill is doing everything within his power to not acknowledge that I am there beside them both. But whether I have publicly claimed her not, she is mine and he knows this by her scent alone.

"This is Bill, your _former_ mate?" I ask Sookie the obvious though it is necessary to break this interminable silence. I look down at her, careful to guard my own temper lest I create more trouble and be a cause of embarrassment for her Though I am looking at her, I can still see Bill flinch at my reference to him and he looks up at me with disdain as Sookie turns her attention to me.

"Ah, this is- well, yes, sort of," There is no need for hurting Bill physically when her own words have done enough. But in turn, her admission causes for her to feel pain as well.

I place my hands on her shoulders and get closer to her as I look back at Bill. She is mine. She will still be mine once everything is set to rights and she would forget about Bill enough to where his presence would no longer hurt her. Bill only continues to stare up at me, studying me carefully.

"You really don't remember me," he says more to himself than to me. He looks at Sookie and shakes his head, "Truly, I thought this was an elaborate scheme on Eric's part to stay in your house so he could talk his way into your bed."

I can't help but let my mood sour as soon as I hear him say it. This is something he truly had believed me capable of… perhaps it was the same thing that many others thought of me as well. Sookie had expressed her doubts on whether or not I had truly lost my memory before. I had discovered a new part of me and I could only hope that Sookie would realize that despite my physical desire for her, both in the present and the past, I had been honest when I told her I had begun to feel something more. Nonetheless, the desire to tear Bill to pieces resurfaces once more because his suggestion serves to only make Sookie feel more insecure about our unstable relationship.

"We need to get in the car," Sookie says gently as she turns her head back to look at me and motions for me to follow her. Her discomfort is beginning to show through the cracked façade of calm she has been portraying all evening. Bill remains in place, motionless, as he watches us leave.

The night has only gotten colder and Sookie clutches the front of her coat while she searches for the keys in her jacket. Bubba had been waiting outside of the house for us and follows us to the car as she is fiddling with her keys. She has forgotten her gloves and the sudden cold air only serves to make her hands numb. I rub my hands on her forearms in a feeble attempt to warm her through the poor fabric of her coat as she inserts the keys and leans back into me with a quiet sigh. Once the door is open and she is inside, I go to the other side of the vehicle to sit on her right while Bubba sits in the back seat.

She has opted to keep the radio on her car silent as she drives on the empty streets. A lock of hair has fallen on her cheek but I tuck it back behind her ear as I let my fingers linger on her face and travel gently down her neck. Her pulse is quick with adrenaline and her veins are rushing with the sweet blood that has had me intoxicated ever since I first tasted her. The memory of her taste brings back memories of her body, warm with her heat, as it wrapped and pressed into my cool one. My hands travel lower and I graze the side of her breast and enjoy watching her squirm with the feel of my touch. She frowns at me and then jerks her head back to remind me that Bubba is sitting behind us. He is sitting with his eyes closed, humming a wordless tune to himself and completely unaware of what is happening before him. I only shrug in response and lean back into my seat and let her drive on in peace.

While we wait for the odd little red lights found in every little street to turn to green, I take her right hand in mine and kiss it, expecting for her to pull it away once she has to drive again. I am surprised, however, to see that she lets it remain in my grasp and she continues to drive with only her left hand instead. Despite the heater in her car, her hands have still not returned to their usual warmth and I am sadly reminded of the necessities her human body needs to remain healthy and safe.

"This is a crappy car," I tell her, glad to find that she agrees with me. I make a mental note to give her a better one once I am recovered. And if she can not part with this piece of metal, then she should agree to at least have it repaired enough for it to be safe for her.

"Are you afraid?"

"I am." For the first time tonight, she has voiced the feeling that has been overwhelming her all throughout.

"If this whole thing works, will you still see me?"

"Sure," She does not look at me when she answers and continues to drive on in silence the rest of the way. I look down at our hands clasped together and see her finger nails digging into my skin as she continues to look straight ahead. There is a distinct crease on her forehead as she bites her lower lip. With another quick glance in my direction she notices me looking at her and grins at me.

We reach our destination and park the car in the darkest and most hidden corner of the small parking lot before getting out of the car. The gust of wind blasts with full force and causes Sookie to give out a gasp of surprise as she locks the doors. I rush to her side and keep her close to me as we walk through the nearly empty neighborhood. Many of the houses there are empty, mere shells of what once used to be a shelter to humans- or creatures like me- all the same. But even in these empty streets, a few homes linger inhabited by humans. They continue to live out their evenings as they have always done and will continue to do until the day they die. And once they are dead, another family will take their place and repeat the same pattern to the end. All of them would remain unaware of the battles being fought beneath their nose.

I keep my arm over Sookie's shoulder -she is clutching the paper with the addresses and Pam's directions- while Bubba trails along behind us in silence. Sookie looks up at the streets signs, mouthing the names quietly to no one but herself as she reads them before stopping in front of the one that indicates our separation.

It is the last time I'll see her before we set out to our different routes and onto the battlefield and I am not about to let her go without a proper parting. I bend down to kiss her and can feel that strands of her blonde hair whip across our faces as the wind howls and beats against us. She wraps her arms around my neck as an anchor and hoists herself up to press closer to me. It is a desperate and hungry kiss, both of us aching to be anywhere but here... It will remain as a precious promise of the many nights that are to follow once this war is finally over.

Bubba kicks a small branch into the street and makes a grunting sound of disapproval.

"You're not supposed to be kissing on anybody else, Miss Sookie," he said. "Bill said it was okay, but I don't like it."

Ah yes… I had forgotten he was, after all, Bill's little pet.

I pull back from Sookie and discontent, place one or twenty light kisses on her lips. Still wanting more, I press my nose against her neck to memorize the sweet scent of her blood. It shall move me boldly into battle.

"I'm sorry if we offended you," I tell Bubba as I finally pull back from Sookie though I am neither sorry nor afraid to have offended him.

"I'll see you later, my lover," I whisper only to her in reassurance that all will be well after tonight.

She smiles up at me and presses her palm against my cheek. It is deathly cold and nothing like the warm skin that I am used to. "Later," she says and her eyes shine in the moonlight with a happy promise of what is to follow once we return home.

After tonight, all will be well. We would finally return to our home untroubled. All I could hope for now was that Pam had truly planned this well.


	10. Animality

_**Almost done! **_

_**BTW, I had trouble concentrating on this one. I guess I just get excited with writing the last few chapters… Also, I had a True Blood marathon with a friend who is new to this series and that may have fried my brain a just a little bit. **_

_**And as a response to Fae, if you are reading this, NO you were not being weird haha and those references will come into play if it all goes according to plan (though I write these without planning much anyway).**_

………

She had turned around without looking back while Bubba trailed along behind her until they were lost in the darkness. I watched them leave for as long as I could before I made my way to the location Pam had set out for us to meet. Even in the night, there is still life thriving usual sounds and smells all give proof of life. But tonight there was nothing but silence aside from the wind's slow howl. The usual choir of the night's creatures and hum of human life is gone. Tonight, the smell of thick heavy magic permeates the air in a sickeningly sweet stench and it can only be attributed as a product of the witches,

It does not take long for me to find the location Pam had designated and find the area without any trouble. It is a small clearing behind the building I can only assume we would be attacking. The source of the magic is pulsing from it, growing stronger the closer I get. Pam is speaking to the few vampires left as she divides them into small groups and sends them off to their respective positions.

"Won't we be using weapons?" one of the vampires asks her, eyes wide at the prospect of fighting unarmed. Clearly a newborn vampire.

"Those witches are crafty enough that they'll only use them against us. Besides," she adds smiling, her fangs fully showing behind her painted pink lips, "we don't them."

A twig snaps as I step on it and both vampires turn to look me.

"Master," she says as she inclines her head just slightly to greet me and bids the vampire to leave with a tiny flick of her hand.

"Where do I go?" I ask her.

"You'll go in through the back with the others like we planned but you'll be in the last group to enter." Before I can ask her why, she explains, "We can't risk exposing you to them in the first group that attacks lest they capture you and render all of this useless." The first group of vampires to attack will simply be used as pawns to receive the instant backlash of the witches.

"Where is Bill?" I ask her. I have not seen him since we left the house. Perhaps he is to be in that first group?

She shrugs, "He's off struggling with that shifter he's supposed to be watching. You're to join him along with the others and be the last group to attack."

It is not something I look forward to- fighting alongside Bill- and I find myself wishing that tonight he would meet his end. But he is, after all, a subject of mine fighting on my behalf despite whatever difference we may have. I am letting emotions get in the way of my duty, something I have left entirely to Pam while I have been cursed.

"Are you sure Sookie will be safe?" I ask Pam once she is free to speak to me again. She had been talking to another vampire whose name I could not recall and giving him her final instructions while I was lost in my thoughts. Was it really worth it that they should be fighting to restore me when the only welfare that I cared about was Sookie's?

Pam begins walking towards the back of the building, her footsteps so light that I have to make sure her feet are actually touching the ground. I trail behind her helplessly, the dead leaves crunching beneath my feet noisily.

"If she follows my instructions to the point, then yes." She says coolly.

I stop walking and Pam turns to look at me blankly.

"I need to be sure she will be safe." I press on. "She needs someone by her side to protect her." There is a strange expression on Pam's face and I am not sure if she is amused or disturbed by my concern for Sookie. She opens her mouth to reply.

"She already has enough protection as it is." Chow interrupts what Pam is about to say as he joins us. The three of us are standing there in the dark surrounded by trees. Even the wind has stopped it's howling in this dismal place. "At this point, she has more protection than you. None of us are going to stand behind and watch over a human while the rest are fighting." The disgust at the idea of having to protect a human is clearly marked on his face. Despite the cold tonight, he is not wearing a jacket and his arms are fully exposed, covered with strange designs and many in a language that I am able to recognize as Japanese. It is bizarre how, despite my lack of memory, I am still able to comprehend a language I have no recollection of learning.

"Nonetheless, if she matters to our master she matters to us. She is quite indispensable and unique. Bubba will be more than happy to oblige if I tell him to watch over her." Pam snaps icily at Chow as he shrugs nonchalantly.

"I don't think he is the best choice for that job-" I protest.

"And I think you underestimate her ability to defend herself. She always has been quite resourceful, you've told me so yourself." Pam interjects.

There is no possible way for me to argue with that when I know it to be true. Pam resumes walking towards the building alongside Chow and I can already see the small groups of vampires already hiding behind the building. And I can feel Sookie and her overwhelming fear. Bill is nowhere in sight.

"I suggest you take that coat off that you're wearing," Pam nods at me and points to the coat Sookie had given me. "It'll only be a nuisance and you need to be fully flexible tonight." I do as she says and take it off only to realize that it is too late to go back to the car. Instead, I hide it behind one of the trees, making sure to remember which one it was so that I can retrieve later on.

I can't help but continue to notice it again when I return to her side- the heavy scent of her perfume invades my senses. The mere hint of it brings me a sense of deep dislike and I can't find a link as to why, Pam is able to see me wrinkle my nose in disgust.

"Something else wrong?" she asks innocently.

"What is that scent?"

"Oh?" she quirks her eyebrow, "Do you recognize it?"

"No..."

"You hate it," she says instantly, happy with my reaction. "You'd mentioned once that Bill's sire wore it excessively when you first met her and you despised it. You didn't think much of her either if I remember correctly. Pity too, since it's actually one of my personal favorites."

"Lorena?" I remembered Sookie had told me of her before though I was not aware I was familiar enough with her in the past.

"Yes, Bill's sire…" she says. "Do you actually remember her?"

"No."

"This is good enough anyway," she says nodding. I can't help but feel confused by her odd reaction. "You link this scent to a _memory_, and your dislike of it now is proof that you are still there," she taps her head with her finger and smiles, "you are just locked up in there for now. Tonight we are only getting they key."

"And you wore this merely to test me?

She laughs "I always did find Chanel to be quite… delicious." I'm left feeling more confused because I do not know what a Chanel is nor that I was familiar with Lorena. Before I can ask her anything else, she is already walking to the front of the building while I remain behind with the others.

A Were joins me in the darkness as we hide behind the shadow of the old building and watches me intently with its green eyes. Alcide. I would recognize him anywhere now that I have grown familiar with his smell. There is a faint trace of Sookie's scent on his fur and I snarl at him in a warning to stay away from her though he only growls back in return.

"I suggest you save this for another time. We'll be needed soon," Bill says smoothly and nods at me in greeting, not bothering to glance at Alcide.

I do not know how long we wait there in the cold night before we run inside, pushed forth by a woman's call to join in the battle that has started without me. I closed my eyes as I recognized the voice and steeled myself for what was to come. Sookie should not have been the one to have called us and yet there she was, inside, in the middle of it all. Bill holds me back before I tried to run inside to save her and tells me to wait until the others have gone before us. By the time we finally go inside, there is nothing but the cries of pain and the rousing scent of blood saturating the entire room. It fills my nostrils and my mind with a need to destroy all that is around me with such a lethal speed that I am no longer in control of myself. Though some of the Weres are struggling with their visibility in the thick white cloud that begins fills the entire room, our kind adapts and we attack, guided by mere scents and the sounds around us. The cloud has proven to work in my favor, allowing me to join the battle without being recognized. Those that are unlucky enough to realize who I am are dead mere seconds later. Those that cannot shift into Weres have brought along weapons, many made out of silver, to attack us. One of the witches lunges at me blindly with her silver knife but only manages to graze the top part of my arm before I grab her arm and break it. The bones crack and rip through her flesh as the blood begins to soak the long sleeve shirt. She cries in agony. I do not have time to have my fill of her blood and instead settle for a quick kill by forcing her knife into her throat with her own hand. My tongue catches the spray of blood from the deadly wound and I savor the tiny scarlet beads of it before I handle the next oncoming attacker. The knife has fallen to the ground from the woman's dead fingers and though I have the urge to use it, I remember Pam's advice.

My next kills are not much different; there are cries, there is pain, and there is a large amount blood already pooling on the floor. It is always in nearly the same order and they all end with a deadly victory. In the chaos that is around us, I feel Bill slam into me by accident after being thrown across by one of the Weres on Hallow's side. Bill's entire chest is covered in blood though rapidly healing after avoiding a critical wound with a wooden knife. While he heals, I pounce on the Were that leaps towards us in an attempt to attack Bill while he is down. I bite into its fur, hard. Hard enough to cause the skin to break and blood gushes forth. A few more bites, in certain key areas, render the Were motionless and I snap its neck. Bill and I regard each other through the hazy room as it begins to rain while he stands up, fully healed, and joins the battle once again.

Though I cannot fully see her, I can feel Sookie's fear pulsing through me and I focus on finding her before she comes to any more harm. I am in luck when the clouds begin to disperse with the rain and I see her. She is fending off an attack from the bitch Debbie Pelt, knife in hand, as she tries to defend herself. Debbie charges at her and I rush to her side and grab her neck before she is able to hurt Sookie. Though the rain has helped disperse the clouds, many are still struggling with the visibility in the room. I am fully intent on killing Debbie when a Were pounces on Sookie and causes for me to lose a grasp of Debbie. The idiot Alcide had come seconds too late to defend Sookie and only helped in having Debbie get away. Before I can help Sookie escape the building, I am attacked from behind by another Were and dragged into fighting all over again. He is biting into my shoulder, trying to take as much blood from me as possible with its large teeth and mouth. I slam my back against the wall several times as I try to shake the Were from my back. The fangs drive deeper inside my skin though much of the blood is escaping its mouth and soaking my shirt instead. Without the strength that my blood provides, the Were is soon rendered weak and after several more bashings against the wall, he falls over to the floor dead.

I collapse on the blood soaked floor as well and catalog my wounds. There are not many and most of them have healed already but the loss of blood has weakened me. The fighting has slowed down and there are still plenty of us left with only a few witches weakly attempting to fight and failing miserably in the end. With a clear victory in sight I crawl to the body of the dead Were, who has now returned to its human form, and recover the blood I have lost.


	11. Death's Sudden Calm

_**I keep saying I'm almost done with this but this time I really mean it. One more chapter to this little fic left with a possible short addition afterwards. **_

_**Enjoy!**_

………………..

Chow was dead.

He had died his final death on the battlefield at the hand of a clever witch with a very sharp wooden knife. Pam inspected it closely as she retrieved it from what remained of Chow's once decorated body, now a bloody heap of matter on the floor, and then placed inside the black plastic bag she was carrying. She had brought the bag along and was now scavenging around the room as she picked up leftovers and any incriminating evidence before she set everything aflame. It was things we would need, she had said, and she did not want to destroy something that would later be important. After all, we still needed Hallow to lift the spell she had cast on me and we would need anything we could gather.

Though we only lost Chow, there are many of our kind that are gravely wounded and need their rest. Bill had been among the lucky but he had opted to stay behind in Shreveport and take Chow's resting place for the night. I had been offered the same by Pam. Now that Hallow was no longer a threat to me, I was free to roam about as I wished though it was unadvisable until I was fully restored. Pam gave me that option before she had gone out to fetch the gasoline she would use to burn the place to the ground. It is merely suggested in passing and she is far too occupied to wait for my reply as she makes her way outside. I suppose a part of her assumes I would be all too willing to accept her offer to be back with my kind.

When she returns, she goes about covering the entire place with the liquid and the stench of it begins to fill the air. There is the smell of gasoline, magic, and death; a vile combination.

With the cries of the dying gone, there is a eerie calm the pervades the room. There is blood everywhere around me and though the sight of it is tempting, I have not forgotten the savage bloodlust nor the many times I could have perished. I could have easily been that pile of flesh and blood on the floor, no longer recognizable by anyone. Sookie had almost been killed and her escape had not gone according to Pam's plan. But in the end Pam had been right, as I hoped she would be. I had sorely misjudged Sookie's own ability to defend herself in case of danger. It was, after all, one of the main reasons why Pam trusted her to keep me safe all along.

"Feel any different now?" My lover's gentle voice lures me back from the dark thoughts that have begun to drag me down again.

I shake my head in reply and look at Hallow. The loss of blood and an effective sedative administered by Pam has rendered her weak and harmless. The death of her brother has done nothing to restore even the smallest part of me and it is all in the Pam's power to bring me back. These witches tonight had proven to be clever and I would not trust Hallow to take defeat so easily. I doubted whether she could be broken enough to fully break the curse. And I have to wonder whether I would truly be the same once everything was back to normal. Everything feels the same as it had before we had come here. Nothing had changed and I was worried that perhaps it never truly would. No matter how much Pam and the others tried to restore me, there it was again… a feeling that something crucial had changed this night.

Sookie checks her watch impatiently as she lingers around the room and though the night is far from over, she needs to rest after tonight's draining experience.

I can feel her exhaustion added with my own and I can echo her desire to return to the quiet of her home. Before she is ready to leave, I go through the back exit of the building to retrieve the jacket that I have hidden away. It is safely tucked behind an old barren tree, free of the blood and horrors of this night. It smells of wood and smoke and the lingering scent of my lover's home. I inhale the scent and anticipate our journey home.

When I go back inside the building, Sookie is no where in sight

No one seems to know where she went and they are far too occupied with cleaning up the evidence in the building to notice if a mere human has left. I wonder if she has gone away with Bill now that he has returned but remember that Bill has decided to stay in Pam's home and has already left with Bubba. Perhaps now that I am no longer in danger she has left, happy that she can move on with her normal life without me as burden. But no… though she is nowhere, I can feel that she is anything _but_ happy.

For the first time, I am able to make a fully conscious choice on whether I should stay with my kind or go back with Sookie into an uncertain future. But it is not my kind that has cared for me or taken me in when I was weakest. It is not my kind that bathed my feet and held my hand as I lay on a stranger's bed, terrified of who I was.

The choice is an easy one.

I go outside and do not look back at the others as I walk out to search for her. She is not hard to track and I find her walking by herself in the night. Her arms are hugging her body as she shivers against the cold air of the night. Even if she does not want me, I must know from her own lips whether that is her final decision.

"You weren't there. I just looked around and you weren't there," I tell her as block her path. "Where are you going? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Please," she says as she holds up her hand and closes her eyes. "Please." Her eyelashes sparkle in the night with the first few drops of unshed tears.

"Let me go home with you. I don't know them," I beg her. Her eyes open wide as she looks up at me intently. We stand there, two lonely people in the night, staring at each other in uncertainty.

"Sure, come on," she says softly though her voice cracks as she begins to cry.

Though the walk to the car is not far, I pick her up and cradle her against me. Her tears fall silently and mix in with the blood on my shirt.

"You have blood all over you," I whisper in her ear in hopes of stopping the tears.

"Yes, but don't get excited about it. It doesn't do a thing for me," she retorts. "I just want to shower."

"You'll have to get rid of this coat now."

"I'll get it cleaned."

The magic has begun to ebb and with it my worries have gone along with it. I set Sookie down and she fumbles for her keys again, though this time her hands aren't shaking from the cold. The night has been taxing on both of us and all we desire is to go home.

The journey back to Bon Temps is peaceful and just as quiet. Though there is no one else but us inside the car, I hold back from arousing my lover until she is in a better mood. I am patient enough to wait and show her just how much I am glad that we have both made it through this evening intact once we are home.

The engine quiets as she takes the keys out of the ignition and she looks at me sideways and gives me small smile. I exit the car quickly and I am at her side as she exiting hers. Before she can say anything, I steal a kiss from her and press my body against hers in anticipation for what is to come. A sharp gust of wind distracts us and her body's shivering reminds me that she needs to remain warm. We make our way inside through the backdoor and I follow behind her, too distracted by the sway of her hips to even acknowledge to myself that I would follow her anywhere she went, as long as I went with her.

But any plans to enjoy the rest of the evening in celebration are cut short as soon as Sookie leans over to turn on the lights to her kitchen. Had I been human, I would not have been able to see Debbie Pelt sitting on the kitchen table, ready to shoot Sookie. But seeing as to how I am not, I could see the shifter clearly in the dark, sitting at the kitchen table and her gun aimed ready to kill.

Instead of wasting time in warning Sookie, I do what I must with the short time that I have been given. My quick reflexes allow me to take the bullet that was meant for my lover but I have made the mistake of letting it hit me in a critical place. Although I have saved Sookie from a mortal wound, I have been incapacitated and the shifter would soon recover from her shock at seeing me and attempt to kill Sookie again. But Pam's words ring true once more when there is sudden blast from behind me and the shifter's upper body explodes into nothing but flesh and bone.

The eerie silence that follows death fills the room and there is nothing but the quiet rumblings of the house and Sookie's labored breathing as she slides down to the floor. Meanwhile, I am consumed with an intense and burning pain in my chest as my body works at expelling the bullet that nearly pierced my heart.

"Eric," she calls out my name and I open my eyes to see her besides me as she props herself up on one elbow. Her face is a ghastly white and though she is holding her emotions back, her hands shake violently as she takes off her coat and touches her own chest for any wounds.

The searing pain that the bullet has left barely allows me to speak and I must ask her for blood. Impulsively, she raises her wrist to my lips before she thinks better of it and pulls away. Without much grace, she gets up and nearly slips on the blood that has begun to pool on the floor as she heats up a blood for me.

"Why not you?" I ask her as I try prop myself up and take the blood from her hand when she returns to my side.

"I'm sorry," she apologizes far too calmly, "I know you earned it, sweetie. But I have to have all my energy. I've got more work ahead."

While I am busy with my drink, Sookie inspects the healing wound in my chest in awe. Her warm hand lightly traces the area and the bullet that had been meant for her, lands on her hand as my body expels it. Her fingers close around it and she stuffs it into her coat pocket and looks up at me. There is a bemused expression on her face.

"Another drink?"

"Sure. How do you feel?" she asks as she takes the empty bottle from me and goes back to get me another.

"Weak." I reply.

I take the second bottle with more strength now that bullet is no longer causing me pain though I am still fairly weak. Now that I am able to fully sit upright, I can get a better look at the mess that was once Debbie Pelt.

"I know, I know, I did terrible!" Sookie bursts out in sudden emotion. "I'm so sorry!" The tears have returned and she covers her face with her hands. One of her hands is bloody from touching the bullet that was inside me as it smears her face and mixes with her tears.

"You might have died of the bullet, and I knew I wouldn't. I kept the bullet from you in the most expedient way, and then you defended me effectively."

"I killed another human," she says shaking her head in disappointment.

"You didn't," I do not intend to sound harsh but I find that it is best to let her know that she is not at fault here. "You killed a shifter who was a treacherous, murderous bitch, a shifter who had tried to kill you twice already," I add more softly. "I should have finished the job when I had her earlier. It would have saved us both some heartache; in my case, literally."

She mumbles something about a Reverend and being a good Christian. She has calmed down now and her tears have stopped.

"I was never a Christian," I tell her. "But I can't imagine a belief system that would tell you to sit still and get slaughtered."

She blinks and her eyes pierce mine again as she begins to calm down.

"Thank you, Eric," she says shortly after and kisses me on the cheek. There is a faint trace of a smile there though it does not reach her eyes. "Now you go clean up in the bathroom while I start in here."

I shake my head and get up from the floor. This is all partly my fault and I have as much to do with this as she has. The evening is full of many decisions and though I rebuke myself for not killing Debbie, I am also glad that I made the decision to follow Sookie home. Had I chosen otherwise, it would have been Sookie who would have been dead on this same floor.

I take over the task of disposing the body while Sookie takes it upon herself to clean the area. The shifter must have had a means of transportation and I search what is left of the jacket and then the pockets of her jeans until I find the keys to her vehicle. There is also a wallet and I open it up to see a picture of her and a younger girl together in a photograph. On the back of the photo, there is a short message:

_Spring Break '04 was the best! Love ya sis!_

With more reason now than ever, I must ensure that Debbie's body is nowhere to be found now that I know she has family that would look for her. I take any documents that could provide identification and remember to burn them once I return from burying the shifter deep into the woods.


	12. Vicissitude

_**The end at last… **_

I return form burying the shifter's car in some forgotten place deep into the ground. I did my best to crush the thing into an unrecognizable figure and then dispose of it as far away from Bon Temps as I could manage. The pictures and wallet I burnt on the fireplace until there was nothing but cinders left. Sookie had done a good job of cleaning the kitchen and hopefully there really would be no incriminating evidence left for her to worry about in the future. Alcide's little show earlier during the meeting where he had all but thrown Debbie out of his life and from his pack had also helped. Despite tonight's upsetting events, I can't help but feel happy that I have proven my worth. I'll no longer have to be burden.

Sookie is in bed, the weight of sleeping falling heavily upon her as she hugs her legs and body to herself. I reach out to hold her hand and kiss her chastely on the cheek.

"All done," I tell her.

"Thanks, baby," she mumbles sleepily though her hold on my hand is firm.

"Anything for you," I whisper in the night, barely audible enough for her to hear. "Good night, my lover." She smiles drowsily and then her breathing slows as sleep takes her away from me…

Dawn is coming, I can feel the weight of sleep dragging me in slowly but I must fight it because I am compelled to be by her side for as long as I can manage. There is this feeling… a sensation that after this night, nothing will be the same. Her brother is still missing and I have done nothing to keep her from pain.

I could have killed Debbie when I had the chance. It could have saved her the pain of staining her mind, forever ingrained in her conscience. But I didn't. Just like Bill has failed her in the past and just like he failed to watch over Debbie tonight… But I know I have not failed her and I do not think myself capable of ever doing so. As long as she will have me, I will do my best to keep her safe whilst I am at her side.

She is deep in sleep. I know this simply because the grip she had on my hand has weakened and I am holding on to her, too afraid to let go. Am I afraid of losing her? Or am I only afraid of losing myself without her? Nothing is certain now… But dawn is near and I must leave her side as the pull becomes stronger.

There are things I must tell her, though it must be done in whispers because I do not want to wake her from an already troubled sleep. I thank her for her kindness. I apologize for my uselessness and the trouble I have brought her in her life since the beginning. I look inside myself like she suggested and find these feelings to be true. It's my fault her brother is missing, surely. And I whisper that I have developed feelings for her beyond what I admitted, perhaps even the beginnings of love.

How very foolish of me, a part of me thinks.

I pull myself away, and slowly release her hand from mine as I am now the one who is gripping hers for comfort. My hand caresses hers as it begins to pull away, and I can feel every tiny vessel of blood pumping in her hands against mine. I am aware of every beat of her heart and every change in the texture of her skin. Her hand is on the bed now and the tips of our fingers are the last to touch until I am left cold without her warmth.

I can't help but hesitate to walk away from her and that blessed room that was our sanctuary from the world. But the dawn approaches and I must hurry, to keep myself safe from the sun; to keep her from ever losing me. My own existence is more important than ever than before because it matters to _her_. I inspect the windows and kitchen, ensuring that all locks are in place and that there is no trace of the shifter she killed tonight. There is a chair wedged underneath the door knob that the shifter had used to break into our home. There is nothing I can do about that but tomorrow I will set about to fixing it. And I remember her calendar. She had nearly forgotten about that until I had reminded her of it. It's a part of her daily routine and I change the page for her so that she can remember. The new word of the day is, _Vicissitude_- unexpected change, mutability, variation of a circumstance in life- it's all a jumble to me now and I must rest. I shall ask her about that tomorrow night.

The crawling space is a tight fit and the smell of mold and humidity does not make the experience any easier every night. If all goes well, now that there is no danger at bay, I shall make accommodations and protect her. In all her preoccupation tonight, she had the foresight to leave it open for me and even included a small pillow as well. I close my eyes.

The water drips. There is the sound of gunfire and flesh being blown apart, a gasp of surprise and shock… a stab of pain in my chest that I can hardly bear it. Is it my cry or hers, or the shifters as the gun blows off half of her body? There is red everywhere- in the flashing city lights, in the fireplace, in the blood that stains the floor and my lover's face. There is the smell of blood and sweat and the cries of agony of those on the battlefield. Swords and axes- guns and wooden knives… So much blood and death and I am enjoying the thrill and horror of it all. She kisses me as I make my promises to her, her eyes wide with surprise and sadness all the same. And her lips… her lips are red with blood and I only want to taste her crimson lips. In my mind, we travel backwards home, the way we should have gone all along instead of joining the battlefield.

And the water drips and drips, stained red with blood. There are so many things and words and whispers that I try to keep together as I feel them slipping away. I do not want to forget but there are things I do not want to remember. She is telling me she cares for me, she is telling me about her family and their deaths. Beatitudes and loss. And her feelings that she has begun to develop for me cause her to blush pink. But these feelings are nothing but a nuisance and an inconvenience if I plan to survive.

That water keeps on dripping, cooling her heated skin as I caress her and silently claim her as mine with my lips. She has already claimed me as hers. But instead I am walking back from the shower, the curtain falling back into place as she stands there unaware of my presence. There is steam and water… _Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink_. I can't help but laugh if only to bring her comfort from the pain she is in.

I want to go forward but I am being pulled away. Can she hear me?

There is no longer a feeling of peace and comfort without her trust though she has allowed me into her bed and held my hand. She slept soundly then, untroubled by the deed she will commit in a few days or of her brother's disappearance the next morning. She is still so innocent and her hand is small and warm.

The water that drips into the basin is stained with blood and grime but my feet are just as hurt. She is wary of me and irritated… Where is my lover? Where am I? To where am I headed? And who has placed me on this road? The void will swallow me whole and I must run back to her, and take comfort in her safety. My heart desires nothing more than to be with her, even if there is nothing but danger ahead. I try to run forward and feel pulled back, a never-ending road with no end in sight.

…………….

"When did her brother go missing?"

"The very next day after Chow and I paid you a visit here."

"Pam, did you take him?"

"No though it really is shame I never though of it. I'm beginning to think his disappearance has nothing to do with you or the witches at all." Pam looks at her freshly polished nails and there is no trace of the fierce battle she claims to have had with Hallow the night before.

I nod in silent agreement. Ever since I woke, I have been frantically trying to recall anything, even the slightest memory of these past few nights. But there's nothing. Over a thousand years of knowledge that I can recall in an instant but nothing of these recent events. Chow is dead as well as Hallow. Jason is gone and Sookie is far too distant and strange and it bothers me that I care _why_.

I still can't forget the way her face when she realized that I remembered nothing and though she tries to brush it off, I know she is lying.

"Are you well?"

I look up at Pam from where I am sitting, drumming my fingers idly on Sookie's old kitchen table. The entire place reeks of ammonia and various cleaning products. It's far too clean for a kitchen that is used by humans on a daily and nightly basis. I was here for several nights but in this kitchen, there is no traceable scent for me to follow. Odd. At least the room I had woken up in had been familiar to me in scent but _this _was far too strange.

I look around, half expecting to see Sookie standing behind me until I remember that she had left nearly an hour ago. I had been to preoccupied settling my affairs with Pam that I had not even noticed when she had left. At the mere thought of her, there is the feeling that I should set something right though I have no idea what I have done wrong. Ever since she came into my life, I often find myself doing things for this mere human girl that I have not done for as long as I can remember. It's foolish and idiotic. More importantly, it's suicidal that I should think of her so often when she is nothing but a mere human. A very delectable and desirable human, of course.

"I am well." I say as I rise from the chair and look around the kitchen one last time. Pam keeps a close watch on me and glances at me carefully with glinting eyes, "Did you bring the checkbook with you?"

"Yes," She replies.

"Good. I want to pay her what is due."

"The full amount?"

"According to her and you, she took care of me these past nights and as you can see," I motion to myself, "I am unscathed."

She pulls out the checkbook from her Chanel purse swiftly and hands it over to me. Once I am done with it, I place it neatly under her salt shaker for Sookie to find when she returns home. Meanwhile, Pam has occupied herself with roaming the kitchen and the house only to return with a man's modest brown jacket made out of poor quality. She carries it over to me with a theatrical air of disgust for its quality.

"This," she raises it up and hands it to me, "belongs to you. Last night you took great care to keep it clean and hid it safely behind a tree. Kind of cute of you actually." She adds smiling.

"Pam," I glare at her. "Do you know what happened while I was here?"

She shakes her head innocently in reply but I know she is lying. Why is everybody lying to me tonight?

"Pam,"

"All I know," Pam takes the jacket from my hands and begins to help me put it on, "is that you followed her around like a puppy. You two became quite attached to each other but aside from that," she says as she tries to dust the jacket's shoulders on me by standing on tip-toe. "I really have no idea. You're going to have to ask her yourself if you really want to know what happened."

There is no point in lingering any longer in this house. There is nothing for me to take and I hope that the money I have left Sookie is more than enough to repay her for what she has done for me. I step out into the cold evening and see the first snowflakes begin to fall in the darkness.

"Are you coming with me?" Pam asks as she closed the front door behind her and follows my gaze up the sky.

"I'll think I'll fly tonight."

Pam knows me far to well to say anything about that and walks down the porch steps and gets into her car. The engine roars as she flashes the headlights at me and waves at me. Soon, she is gone. I tuck my hands into the pockets of the jacket and see something fall from the sleeve. It's small and the white snow begins to swallow it easily but I recognize it for what it is. Brain tissue. I give the front door one last glance before I take off into the white night.

…………….

The End

_**So thanks for following this story and I really loved all the lovely reviews. Real life got in the way so it took a while to finish but finally got around to it. I'm actually proud of myself for finally being able to label this as complete and not having it be a one-shot! =D **_

_**I'll be enjoying True Blood and hopefully getting some new ideas! **_


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